A gent today referred to girl I know, she’s a little bit of an air-head. “You can’t put brains in monuments”.
That’s a great line I think.

I gotta buy some ghost drops!

Friar Tuck; “Dry old fuck” haircut style.

The past is the past.
Physical / Remembered / Idealised.
Is exercise pointless?
Does this cause fluctuations in the present?
What are the direct outcomes, globally.

Recent past vs distant past.
All builds
Your story.
Relevance, recountable?
As things grow older.

Becoming less important?

Types of communication:
Questions
Suggestions
Greetings
Farewells
Answers
Propositions
Jokes
Noise
Phone calls*
Verbal
Non-verbal

Do you think the water poured from a recently boiled kettle sounds different to water poured from the same kettle, but the water HASN’T been boiled. Can you HEAR boiled water? What changes?

People’s impatience! Seeking gratification because of social needs, aspected to higher standards set in the past? E.G: World Records. Rippling through the “now”. Calling people from the car, cramming your day. Hardly being present. Prioritising. Just consuming, moving, spinning, swirling. Eating, drinking a whirlwind of washing and wanting. Waiting is wasting. Waste from each of us a splinter in need of a cure. Aggravated, we continue. Like time stringent sea monkeys. Junkies for action. Need for stimulation. Pointless, thoughtless forms. Wanting, but what. Shall we talk about it? How do you communicate? Choose your path.

Full day of work tomorrow.
I’ve pushed through a lot lot worse.
I don’t even know why i’m building it up.
Maybe just to procrastinate.
Perhaps to highlight the fact that its a choice.
And it should be a hard choice.
I should struggle.
There were other plans made.
I put others on the back burner.
My gains are mundane.
Fiscal.
I have homework. It’s due tomorrow at mid-day.
Tonight I will study,
Write,
Proof,
Finish.
Tomorrow will be a day of work.
Loads of coffee.
Perspiration.
Inspiration, to know that I could have passed up that opportunity.
But chose otherwise.
I will achieve greatly tomorrow in my own right.
Cramming as much into the day.
Not feeling tired or lazy for choosing.
I will be strong. I will be ok.

Work,
Life,
Doing it all.
Has worn me thin.
Moth eaten.
Jaded? Faded.
Raided.
Pillaged and plundered.
Bed now.
In a rose bush of thoughts about my future.
Collapsing,
Clogged.
Please hush.
Outside and inside.
Blank! Go blank!
Mind the blank.
The step between here and the platform of rest.
Rest eternal.
Life is getting you ready for spending a long time like this.

Find someone I can plague.
When I find them.
To bounce off.

Shut up!

Your brain fills in the blanks.
Like, you look at the clouds. And you see pizza.
Is it supreme or meatlovers?

What does Pious mean?

Dentist recommend replacing your toothrush every 8-10 weeks.
What we meant to say was.
“Become a dentist; they can affort a new toothbrush every day”

“You have no idea what the fuck these guys are doing in there or why it costs so much”

I wonder what you’ll be like when you’re 50 Patrick.

Isn’t it funny when you catch yourself lying.

“I feel dinner, eating should be a crechendo. Like,if you eat a bit then stop you forget the true taste. What it was and could have been, but if you just keep piling it in, the muddle of food grows and grows and then STOP, its over” beautiful.
Sol Foster’s Jack Kerrouac-esque style. A postmodernist interpretation of food consumption. One-long-connected-experience. The waking consciousness, the scroll of dinner.
And to finish, like a dessert. This sweet pun.
Indeed, it was a scroll. Jack Kerrouac be proud.
Did that guy have a degree in english? (I wonder out loud).

I need to look up chaos theory.
“Philosophising”

Anything you say is either offensive or defensive and may be interpreted so.
-say nothing, see what people say to you. What do they want.
Stick to your one point, like a politition. Additions are further ammunition to misunderstanding and miscommunication.

When you think of noteworthy achievements. You think of singular people. But the greatest achievements come from groups.
Is it possible to wield a group of people without being placed upon a pedestal above them? Kings/masters/slaves/workers.
Utopia? Democracy? Philosopher kings…

Time doesn’t function in straight lines?
Why do we infer straight lines?
As we remember back we start from the beginning through to the end.
We recount. Past to present. Present to past. Recent to old.
Important to unimportant.
Are we all just killing time?
Is that a scary thought?
People are control.
Look out over the city, where does everyone need to be? In cars…
In the street walking. Time is being spent.
Why do I see waves. Why do you blink and only occasionally feel present in the moment.
Are we free?
Is there chaos in being free? Does free mean, free and meaningless?
Does chaos, mean inhumane? Un-human. Lacking a thought process that enables you to fit in. To be controlled in your actions. Sensible?
Functioning. Part of the machine?
Part of the structure?
The operating system. The drive. The ongoing challenge for human improvement. The new records. The time spent by others achieving means humanity in the future has to work even harder; to find new and improved ways to occupy themselves. To live and say “this has not be done’ nor will ever be done again”.

Three chapters – Accounting.
As I lay Dying – Modernism English.
French Prac + Application
Work at 6. A Rock in the eye at 5am
And a haircut.

The attainment of money shouldn’t wear you out.
There are many things I need to do. But I feel flat.
I FEEL FLAT.
I AM WEARY.
TIRED TO MY BONES.
A nap?
Walk, Read, Nap.

Went to Zap tonight.
24 hour gym. Wrecked before bed.

Wondered about the anti-social/ unfriendly element.
The focus. The selfishness. The ego.
How I feel in such an environment.
Its interesting.
I wish everyone could go there and somehow have a good time.

Then I came home, ate some loaf that I made. Not perfectly cooked but ok.

Earl Grey and Rose combo is a work in progress. Re-infused =lovely, more rosey. So yeah better the second time round.

Think I might go the scullet in December.
Bald with curled or wirey sides. Get some supportive t-shirts.
“I am too bald, ’tis not of me she speaks”
“To Bald-ly go were no man has gone before”
“Bald-win”
“Bold or Bald?”
“Bald for a duck”
“Bald my eyes out”

I think it would be a good cause.
Maybe get some loud sunnies.

Had a big chat with Wil today.
Still tired from my long week.
Working a lot.

Gotta organise a party at the end of the month,
Flights to Melbourne.
Uni.

My insight for the week gone by:
“the accumulation and  acquisition of money should never leave you tired”
*to which everyone has replied: but it does…*

– I think it should motivate you.
Make your decisions, about how you spend your time.
Reading “As I Lay Dying” at the moment, got some brilliant content.

Life is just the short preparation each person goes through, to get ready for spending
a great deal of time dead and buried.

So here I am. Two days late.
Its been a few hard days.
And long nights.
I return to bed, no expectations on my day today,
except for the attendance to work at 6pm.
Had The Beatles on the brain.
Djay-Djay song also.

Today that gay guy that I could talk to about anything,
He’s a hairdresser; came in.
Talked about fathers day,
How his day has passed away,
how that will then influence the reaction/celebration
(when finally they pass away)
I said I couldn’t deal with that sort of emotional stress.
He mentioned his dad was an ass. And that when his died,
he wen’t on holiday. They cremated him, and placed his ashes…
In a few different vessels. Normal right…
Each “birthday” of the father, they go, have ‘sandwiches’.
I bit-and-bitANDBIT my tongue. For the joke.
“Oh a picnic, where you play for the ashes”. Fuck my brain.
So that, work all day. Road trip. Freezing water (beach), collecting shells.
Then visited coles + the pub. Got a sugary drink.
then visited Shell Bell. Talked, tea, Fan-tales.
Then soccer 11-0 great game, driving, lifts for Edward.
4 free beers. Pale Ale (tastes shit).
Tallked to day. Put on my electric blankey.
Went and had a few beers with Alex and Eden & Rich.
Talked Arnold Swartz + The value of money.

Rich mentioned the combination of Arnie (Physical) with something more.
Intellectual aspiration. Einstein.
I combined a point I admine about the physical condition.
Then I rode home with Alex.
Eden was sick, and a bit tired.
I have been awake for 23 hours. Bite me.

Did I write a conclusion?
I totally didn’t.
I kept re-writing the start.
I had all those false starts…
You gotta read all the way through to even begin to get the end.
And to get it right? That’s something else.
Work tomorrow! What am I doing.
God damn bed.

Gotta book Japan!
Full day of it tomorrow. Shucks.

Reading ‘As I Lay Dying’.
Tough times on struggle street to begin with. I almost love it.
Maybe i’m at the wrong point in my life.
Post-modernism (I think[?])

Big day today, lots went on.
Loads got done.

huh, lets get deep.
Imagine being with a partner.
Imagine getting deep.
Peeling back all the bullshit.
Seeing the red of their heart.
The external jealousy melts away.
Realise them
The charcoal of their bones.
The steam from their veins.
The thrumming of heart strings.
Honesty, mingling with lucid and pliable maybe-thoughts.
“what if”
I think this!
I feel.
Posit, guess, make fun of, take the piss out of.
Laugh at yourself. Be deadly honest with me.
yourself. turn on the heat. Be cool
Cold. Calculated. Analyse. SILENT.
Be grave.
Feel no guilt. No expectations.
What are you wont of?
Judge me. Look at the skin stretched across my face and view me.
Interpret now and then forever onwards.
Even when we are apart. Separated.
Perhaps forever. You’ll have spent the time,
Guess at me, and my future. Looks, feelings, thoughts, emotions.
When you can’t guess anymore will you come back to me?
Is there beauty in that?
What is everyone else doing.
Is this chaos?
Could all of this be a man made world?
If I smile. Is that manmade?
Is that environmental?
Could that be something for everyone to look forward to?

I’m sorry Tom.
Happy Birthday, I’m going to be selfish and go to bed.