I feel an over whelming urge to ask the person i’m with one on one, to try and write a poem. That will engage them, divulge deeper lying feelings.
My lack of understanding of you, may bring about anger.
Anger. Consciousness. Conscience. Ego. Violence against itself. Super-ego. Concepts. Fear. Morals. Morality. Mortality.

That feeling of drunk- to be singing quite seriously in the streets.
To think, that communication is just people nodding. When you say something, people nod, they give feedback, they recycle what you’ve said in their own words; their own personal touch and understanding. But when they don’t understand they have to act strange? “No, what? No, I don’t get it, frown”
New ideas, concepts are rare maybe. But there questions arise, and breakdowns do occur.

I remember the first time I saw the OC. I told the mundane story, it illicited very little response, but proved another colour and layer to the quilt, the knitted crochet, (all grand[respectable]-mother’s mundane stories make sense now, they were just knitting a quilt), a base, a mood.
What then bubbles to the surface?

Oh, you completed your masters of medicine. “as long as your happy”
Oh you’re working on the farm this summer? “yeah keeping busy” –
“Well… as long as you’re doing something” (economists wet dream).

Isn’t it great to think, that someone might pick up on one great idea during the night, it won’t just be forgotten. They think about it, pull it apart, take it home with them and explore it further. Remember it, share it with the world. Become it.
Pavlov and his dogs, he went home after and interesting chat with some buddies down at the pub, clung to an idea and blam. PROGRESS.
All his other pals went on to talk about micro-herb-gardens. [they were ahead of their time]. But it’s interesting to think that the many topics broached can easily be forgotten.

The double standard “what are you studying” -wanna talk about it? no
how about: “Where do you work” – wanna talk about it? no

Sexist mind.
Masculine man (what does that mean).
Funny woman *why was I surprised.
eftpos is slow (she pretended to finish a bottle of wine) -seamless, confident delivery.

I asked a woman quite simply if she was going to drink Baileys from a shoe.
she said “no…”
I said (deadpan) “ok then”.

Has anyone seen fifth element?
*spew white light out my mouth and stun the asteroid where I stand, sorta moment.

Its 50% luck.
“oh yeah, how do you figure? what’s the other percentage? -you fucking moron. Why not give me a fraction, can you say something else completely idiotic for me?”
Timing is everything

What can we take from that?
1: Isn’t taking people out of context great.
2: i forget the other 2 points.
3: also forgotten.

* I think your point before Patrick.
(by this stage i was in stitches)

Megan the accidental joker in the past, rowan speaking my mind – but kindly, making the joke, and me being all too aware.

Rowan, nickname Romance. haha

Talking about money can be taboo. Its a big part of self worth.
Society values your time, effort; the work you do, for the outputs.

The weather?
I’d rather not.
Is it cold outside? Don’t take my word for it.
You should check.

Lets go deeper, right now, not the weather, something deeply personal about yourself. Then we can talk weather. *does not compute.

Simple transaction conversation.
that’s why we don’t all speak in poetry.

Simple, but good.

You are the girl,
Of my dreams
Giving gifts a whirl
Belated Easter themes

Chrushed up chocolate
Wrappers shine bright
Crumbled rotted,’fetted liquid molten hate
Glow of aluminum
I feel numb
A pheonix!
Hatches from the egg,
I didn’t get you.
Until it was half price the days
Procceeding easter.
Sickness.
Imbalance. Where are my gifts? What’s wrong with me.
Why do i reflect such a tarnished view.
Today, mornings. Stoic.
Don’t, please don’t. JUST don’t talk to me.
Because i’m filled.
I’ve taken negativity inside myself and i’m ready to share.
To burst open.
The cracks appear.
My silent visage. Head lowered.
I’m sorry, why can’t you make me better?
Stir the pot. Touch. Feel. Read my mind.
Show me something, surprise me.
My mind bobs, floats, fully aware of posibilities,
Options and opportunites.
The sun, glints off the wrappers.
Like christmas lights.
The day has turned around, its still winds.
The molten chocolate sets.
No pheonix will rise from these ashes.
The chink-crinkle of wrappers.
Putty.

“As long as you’re doing something”
!what a strange saying come-philosophy.

Short term goal, get in the dictionary.
Sexual expectations;
Sexpectations.

Movie to see: The Metropolis.

A beautiful hai-ku.

My bedroom in, spring
a volcano of clothing.
What will summer bring?

Buying vinyls? That’s stupid. They don’t fit in my discman.

Buy dad a crowbar.
Why are they called crow bars?!

Mt William National Park, Poem.

Blue split green
From bearded trees
Toward other scene

Ferns with fleas
Beams and boles
Foliage scree
The plain unfolds

Soaring bird
Wheeling and waving
The message heard
Wasps, wasps raving

Harmony we relax
In nature all alone
Just us and our packs
‘Til tourist ring their phone

Imagine becoming massive
Food-fuel. Eat and eat. Grow huge
Exercise a lot,
Snap people like branches With feet, shin or over your knee.

What makes shells? Do they just grow?

What classifies a mountain?
500feet?

“Get shucked”- what’s the reference?

Ceased, siezed, creased, salad. The czar’s finger.
Caesar? July, August. Months to remember.

Smiling on a bike as you ride past walkers, is like shouting from a moving car. Cowardice trumps courage so much of the time. To say hello to someone you truly want to spend energy on and with, this is the honesty we fear.

We fear our own hairstyle (autocorrect of honesty) haha

Is the word “crazy” sexist?
The term is a simplified, putdown
Hysteria knockoff.

Treasure, treasure.
Treasure these times.
The time spent making,
cooking up clues.
Being a pirate

With Red Beards
Peg leg and parrot
No need for shoes

Scurvy and topsy turvy,
Eye patch and all.
Like humpty dumpty,
Ready to fall.

Egg here and eggs there.
Maps and stealing,
Swashbuckling flare.
All double dealing,

Asking for trouble.
Drinking all night
Rough morning stubble,
bringing fright, not delight.

Poor one eyed sight.
at the glare of the light.

Blinded was he,
ship’s sailed-
water baled
Sails fled on bold tree.

But pirates fear not,
Twinkling eyes see it all.
As clear as a shot!
Follows he to your call.

Yee safety marked cove
Was a giant black ‘X’
That swash-buckler clove
Cutlass to necks.

Cannon ball fire,
Leaves fodder to float.
Walk planks of tight wire
From boat to boat.

No pirate ever,
goes down with the ship
Davey Joney clever,
His toes never dip.

Ship shape and drunk.
Jolly coins all spent.
rocking his bunk,
gambling gold he was leant.

Red Beards crush,
The teeth of the world,
Bubbled waters hush
As his blanket is curled.

Stains, grunts, drool,
Make rocking nights.
Memories of-fools,
and victorious fights.

Eyeglass and wheel
Forged captain rank.
Temper stolen steel,
Taken to-bank.

Blooded and mad,
Is he always
Fine buttoned sad,
Dandy that pays.

Rollicking royal thats-
Run off his mouth.
Shipwrecks and hats
up from down south.

Compass and anchoring.
Crow nest and luck.
These all give hankering
Pirates privates amuck.

To brothels and beaches.
Fine wenches ‘out breachers.
Who to whom teaches.
And teachers our preachers.

And so.
and so.
There pirate go.
Sing songs for these good times.
And ho-a-ho
ho-ho-ho.

Redbeard’s memory lives on.
Easter, although belated – was a great success.

I applied for jobs.
So when I have a life,
I can spend the money I will earn.

Funny because even now, without jobs at hand.
I manage to run out of time.
And run,
Drain,
Weep,
Haemorrhage,
Energy.

Book read today.
Happily Ever After.
Genres.
Popular.
What are we signing ourselves up for.

Romance sets the bar too low.
Romance isn’t romantic enough.
Romance fails where life succeeds.
Fresh, alive, scary, committed.

People just want more.
Its not that they don’t get enough.
Supply and demand of romance.
The genre that finances,
Bankrolls – publishing.
Two dollar books
“mummy porn”
dirty, smutty, cheap.

You sell yourself and love,
ROMANCE short.
Cheap thrills rot the mind.
Lazy love. A shame.
Romance my be a religion.
It forms a transient basis for us to improve upon.

Feminists. Writers. Academics.
Child, man or woman alike.
We can still take the good bits-
hate and discard the rest.
What ammunition! What a revolting case.
Hot sex. Original, unbelievable,
Cliche, norms, bores, binaries,
cringe, idealistic.
Sticky pages.

Why are there so many pages?
Does this mood have to be set?

A short story of plot.
You tell, and tell and tell and tell.
This happened. Then this.
And now sex. Reward.
Dog treats.

I will keep the good bits.
But shame on you for not pushing the boundary.
Such grey-area smut.
Mind-numbing.
But “not the worst novel i’ve ever read”
Curious.

I will not let myself take the hateful stance.
Shame on you,
Shame on us all.
Romance,
You break my heart.

Its unreal,
just how I feel.

Where is my happily ever after.
Write me that, so I might call it drole.

Allow myself to do anything I want today.
Change the bin liner nearly had me defeated.
Slow, small progress.
Haircut needed, cost twenty dollars.
Jogged down, added value.
Bought a CD for dad, cost 17.
Got him to cut my hair.
Ran to north hobart, learnt about hot cross on buns.
Fat and flour. “Cross mix”.
Played cards, I won.
Sun came out, jogged to sandy bay.
Found figs, go figure. Fine figure.
Ate a wrap. Thanks Megan.
Talk sex talk.
Missed her bus.
Was late.
Jogged home. Ate apple.
Talked to rowan.
Art, film, writing are a convosation.
“Interesting” – explanation.
Disagreement.
Juggling and sleep.
Aspirations.
Life goals, change.
Juggling and sleep.
Soup.
Family
Football.
Reading.
Today. Poetry.

Time will never tell.
Never give up a secret.
No truth, no banter.
Just a smell,
Of fresh grass.
Tomorrow, old and new.
Today’s cut.
Tomorrow’s cot.

Happy ever afters We asked difficult questions of eachother.
Got strange and lewd.
Weird.
red eyed.
Trouble.

Tim Tams should make a biscuit that’s the same filling as double choc, but change the shapes of the bikkies to more resemble pillows. “Bed Tams”

I should write my own character.

All good thoughts have been thought.
I looked at her and winked. “I feel like i’ve been eating all morning”.

A boy reads his first book.
Its about a girl, he falls in love.
He has dreams, falling into books.
He loves her, but cannot explore beyond the shallow pages of the children book of her.

He becomes and author, to write her a story.
I need to write my own story.

Darn, i lost my post.

I have an overwhelming sense of “can be bothered today”
That was the crux of it.
Hug your mum.
Haha

Buy a rocking chair: 11th feb 2016, 19:55.
On Australia day: A flight attendant with an accent offering instructions; maybe even apologising for a delay – the passenger behind “don’t worry, next she’ll say it in english”.

My bed-day note

The word THEN:
“Is, is, is was”
Tomorrow,
Today,
Yesterday.
Then
Then
Then.

I self diagnose. Jogger’s bladder is back. (again)

Attribute all you do, to the food you eat and the water you drink.
Observe others. They are wild.

I live in the “west”.
South Hobart
But – western.
Wild, wild westerner

Let my mind organise and regiment us.
Plan, organise, control.
Understand. Leadership? Bah.

“how’s work?”
“Absolutely fabulous”
-How can I take you seriously.

Acid.
I might write something,
A thing on the spectrum. Put myself down.
If you don’t admit it. Draw it out of yourself.
You become a bystanded. Someone I passed on the road or bike track.

I handed you a, a, a thing.
I tried to give you a ring.
Listen to the whirrr of my heart
Can you hear that? What did I bring?

Nothing, could make you smile or let me give.
In my back, bleeding, spleen a shiv.
A shank, a meat bloodied, gleaning black.
Dried now, the writer’s hack.

Hock and hack
and cough and froth.
What a whord. WHORE.
Frosth. Froth. Froth. Froff.
Catch yourself, fearful bumbling adaption.
Not dumb, not by half.
Sit with me in the luxury of closed border,
closed mind. To think that i’m educated,
and had these views. The world functions?
Where are these wanton unicorns of salvation.

I’m waiting and salivating.
Hungry and in bed. Coffee pot boiled.
Extracted just right.
Abandoned mink,
Left the milk out.
Not i’m just whispering to myself.
What an interesting thing.

I had a pen yesterday but it was all,
a wall.
To hard.
Jed’s gone, you know.
I do now.
I know.
now now, bring a brown cow
Clown, gown frown sick.
You prick.

You had sex with my ex.
I needed a best friend and you fucked me.
Lost. Lost what I wanted to lose.
God awful. wretched.
Knots in my spine,
Wring out my mind.
Soaked.
Bloodied washing.
I’ve been for a tumble ben. Ben was it?
Kat? Tom. Tom with a beard. What do you look like.
Other than that? Before you were a man. A boy,
your teeth? That white glossy spot.
On both.
and you waited for coffee; Like I wanted too!

The ol’
“Farewelll” in the supermarket. Aisle one.
fuck. There they are again.
Bite me.
Bit me.
Rule
Write me.
Writ me.
Kill me.
kile me.

Ah, light off by the bedside.
I know my body. I feel it.
I could do what I want.
This zone.
Comfort. Disgust. Carrot sticks.
Popups. Computer at the foot.
need flicks.
Net fucks.
Mental propaganda and porn,
wrung me dry.
Every drip. Time’s ongoing, loop.
Same, shit, different, fuck you.

Let me be cordial.
I saw some well lain cement today.
Sandy bay. My that’s a skill. Roads.
Rates. Do people pay more? Depending on where they live?
Did people put up fences to make property private; AND do illegal activities.

What is privacy?
Do you mind if I dance?
I’ll call you later, what’s your friends name?
Where do you learn spanish?
Ha. Sick. Shame.

I danced,
A tried and true,
Turned. trance.
You, like a pirranah piranah pirrhana pearannah pirrana perannah pirrhana pirannah parana parana perannah pirhannah pirahna prick.
Piranna pirranah pirahna pirannah piranah PIRANHA! cold caught.
I saw you, you looked away.
White show.
Shoes.
You wore. You looked good. I wrote about you i’ll fish it out of my phone before.
I think it makes a little sense. A little enough. ENOUGHT.
Enufft. Snufffed it. Carked. Croaked. Honk.
The sound the duck made when it died in winter.
We lived in North Hobart. Off Patrick Street.
Patanosta rowe Road? Row?
Anya Row, the hot slippery mess.
Dating an oldie now. Gross, scraggly.
As we all grow old and get wiry.
Bang together. Like gong and mallet.
Lucid. Lippid. List
Lurking Lostra Yil. Surayangatang.
Tan. Veloceraptors. Spell yourself.

Your sleeve. Wiping at the grime of today,
spoiled. Spoing!
Spoilt. The elastic gun fired the slinky into my path and I just watched.
Right.
Righteous.
Wrathful. Piano gamer. When you know all the buttons,
all the moves. And you see them coming. Anything they could do. Maybe. We aren’t all just running in, are we?

That presence of mind to keep punching away. You can’t die.
You are a healer.
Frrrrr- shooo-tuuup-toooop.
GREEN.

Green green greeeen. Light greaan?
Noodle on his head. Fifth Element.
Korby. Kobby-kobe-kobeh my man.
KORBEN DALLAS.

“You’re fired”.
Fire one millior.
-atleast i got free lunch.

It looked like breakfast.
I don’t know.

Chip chip chip chip chip.
Salt. Hot salt.
Liquid salt. Pour it.
Explore.
Gravy.

Synthia. Stuck up.
Gore-gush.
Gorgeous.
Personify. To make a person.
Tear your pants.
Royally cock up.
Fick.
FRREEZE. Rrrrrrrrrrr.

The sad faces on the track,
the resolute nod from walkers.
some familiar, others wayward;
new and questioning.

Today I’m assertive.
I blaze headstrong.
Angry almost if for the lack.
The genuine lack of energy to feel,
express. A moving, innanimate object.

No objections, just witness and obey.
give way, submit ground,
on the ground that the biggest truck
-wins the day.

Wyn is gone.
Is there asian in your family?
Yeah. That explains why you go red.
I suppose I could-
it does?
It does.

The computer shuts down,
winds down, falls asleep,
goes to power saving.
I have a void.
a void inside me.
I need to fill it with things.

I can’t just stay in the relative comfort of my bed.
that’s a crazy thought.
Limit outputs.

Find something useful to do in society.
And they will give you bread.
I think bread is weird because it makes me feel so full.
It makes me feel full without providing my the noutriants,
the sunsainants. NUTRIANTS. NOUTRIENT NUTRIENT oh-yes.
And SUSTINANTS Say it right. rush on, headlong into innaccuracy poetic bare
lost in translation grammatical errors. IT IS REAL.

What if your reality is a truth formed up of elaborate lies.
Thanks for the reminder.
Sustinants Sustain sustinants suss.
Sustinent stain. ck! CK-K-k.
‘uck
Flippedy.

“I said something and It was like you”
i channelled you.
I thought you all left.
I just sat there, wankered.
Wasted.
Waiting.
Leader. Writer, waited.

Where do they go after dinner? They all go home,
they all go home to cry. And worry about the obscurities of a certain
short lived life.
But we have our own perpetual eternity.
we live for our own version of forever.

What about the ineviability of the heat death of the universe?
At eight. I was worried about the sun exploding and killing everyone.
I’m still scared. Gripped with fear.
Fed on it. Grain, ingrained.
Farm, cage, free range. Shooting range.
Ducks and cattle and clay pigeon.
To the slaughter.
Laughter.
Thinkers laugh,
Feelers cry.
I do both,
Well my dear, you’ve got it all.

I hope you’re ok.

Feeling full. Not what the french would say.
That’s perverse. Too graphic.
Not poetic.
take some food.
prendre. Prend, prend, prends, prenons, prenez, prennent, pris? pru, pu, prendu, prendais.
Take take take.
Take the colour, the viatamin, vital min. Mint.
Vitimin, Viatamin, vietnam, vitamin.
Thake. SHake. Shaik.
The queen of the dessert.
Glutton out. Take in. Food. Orgy. Sickness.
Broken and tamed, timid and weak.

Assert yourself on your bicycle.
Foam beard. Smooth skin.
Pray for hot water.
Bless you easy world.
Good life.

Slow turnover period of refuge seekers.
Strange. So blind. Out of the news, policy,
people making THINGS happen.
the roads get made.
the maids, thankyou.
A thankless job.

I like your outfit.
I was going to wear it again.
Don’t bend over.
You’ll see it all.
Bath body.
Warm.

the food, not bread.
Olive bread.
with oil. Warm, ovan. Oven baked.
fresh smelling.
rosemary, thyme, mint.

Rose my mind the the time.
Tied my hind in a bind.
Find my spine by the wing.

Denzel washington is a bad man,
A really good actor in this.
Are you GOING alright?
Yeah well,
good alright,
you beauty.

Make me laugh.
Push that perfect smell out of your mind.
Timing immpeec.
Impeccable.

The history of words.
I need a smart, a wizened old crack to make sense of the world for me.
I would shave my head and wear a robe, just to have a leader, selfless and willing to share. To make sense of this world. To provide for me, to not harm or take anything but what was needed. To take the snakes out of Ireland.
Make the world bullet-less.
-Bullet points.
-bulletins.
-bullys.
-bullshit.
-bulk
-billards.

Balls.
Pool, snooker, sharks.
The rum diaries.
A maid outfit.
Delete that number.
Write down the story about that girl.
I want it.
I want it all.
Describe people you know love. Make that real.
get that program that writes what you say,
so i won’t have to type I can just rant.

Rank brain, onion layers.
Fully explore metaphors.
“LIKE THE OCEAN”
overused. Dead?
Not by far. Re-viewing.
changing.
The heartbeat.
Receeding. Recceeding re-seeding. recceed, receed recced RECED. RECEDED word weird.

The hum, lapping, shoals, tiny barrels, the foamy sound.
warm, wet static. The beach. Sand rolling in the shallows.
No time for building castles.
I remember when you were sick and we stripped down.
Your olive skin.
Wild nights, wild nights.

BAH. recycling. What am I?
Coke? Reduce, reuse, recycle.
One doesn’t effect. AFFECT sales.
More is better? Poor is wetter.
tears and broken umbrella.
Cold kids. The mistake that is free time,
an active mind and the lack of need for basics.
Energy that was otherwise saved up;
reserved. Savings. Find food, get shelter. Protect yourself.
Sleep light. Hunt.
No longer. A mantle? Not even. Nothing but the things we own.

My body, so taken with food.
Laden. Shut me down, wake me when there is a change.
Print out the agenda.
I’ll be back to life soon.
I might be five minutes late,
after a fashion.
Whisper to me- if you can.
show me your intelligence.
be gentle, see me for who I am.
Mirrored in yourself.
picture my eye.

Snap snap snap.
Iris, glow.
Pupil dialed
Ba-bum.
pump pump pump.

FIVE TIMES!
Hah. Remember what breasts feel like?
Shot in the heart.
Cold case.
Food sustain me.
Wake me when there is a change.
I don’t take watch.

Watch is not for me. Not a man of action.
Calibre. Cal-ee-bur.