I don’t really know what it is,
With pork.
I’m not hugely affectionate to the animal.
The taste, ‘fatty’? Its disgusting.
I could miss it out entirely.
Crackling? Foul!
Who comes up with this stuff.

Today was a bad day, brain had a major knot in it.
I don’t know what’s up, it’s pretty frustrating,
No coffee or tea maybe.
Flatlined.

Need to buy tickets to Asta.
I could do that now.
UGH. I’m sick.

Blue and grey.
That was my day
I know i’m not
here to stay

I guess that means.
It was the genes.
I’ll head now, away
To where sun gleams.

Hadrahan!
You pesemistic cunt.
That spelling taboo
The prejudice.
Jaundice.
No dice. Die!
See me, See me for what I am.
Morphing into a the bubbling babbling wreck.
Babel, and able
Unable, Babe’ll be the first
To be eaten!
On this ARK.
Invite Joan, she’ll be our woman.
Piss on that thought. Wreck it. Can I waste that paper harder?
More? Blacken that white card.
Yes. Gossip with me
Tell me rambling stories, open up.
LAUGH HYSTERICALLY.
FREAK.
totally. freak me out.
Freeeeek me the fuck out.
Your giant mouth consumes me, does my fear remain?
That passing moment. Passed out. Passed up.
The past. Said, Say, See-Saw. Sunk.
My ship. SHIT. ThING SITH THIS FUCKING DYSLEXIC.
What is that. My belief. These labels. These words.
Say them enough they mean NOTHING.
Overandoverandover until it’s just fuck.
Silence.
Seth Van Hyster, Spelt that last bit wrong.
Names and bullshit. A power over somone. You may as well meet grabage,
Disgusting. Is it highly organised?
Phil Gale, “yeah that’s where they put a wale if it washes up on the beach”
Where/// THE FUCK. Does that come from?
I thought I said strange stuff. Everyone else just sat their, big kids.
Learned to not say anything,
Don’t presume, Don’t share. Just eat,
“JUST KISS HER” Fuck you, are you fucking kidding me.
And here I am, hypocritical. Devestated.
But that’s human right? WRONG. Who gives a fuck.
Didactive? Didactic? What does that even mean.
Piss off word. Get out of my mind.
Dots, Dashes. Code. Moarse. MoRSE.
Black and white until.
yes and no. No and yes. Cycles, circles.
Origin and return.
Beginning and end.
Change aparrent? Control?
The future? The big back up.
The earth a diamond.
Our existence.
Existentialism; everyone is aparrently.
Because everyone is capeable of suicide.
Deep thoughts, that make you smile.
Or cry.
Just look at your shoes and wonder why everything’s not perfect.
Where is the remedy.
I need perfume for this situation.
We all sense something is wrong.
Where is my bliss. I need DR WHO.
That episode where we all become junkies.
Time travel. Wild thought.
Lets all go back in time and get eaten by dinosaurs.
Go uninvent the wheel?
I mean what do you do.
Go back, make advancements? Change history? WHO THOUGHT UP THIS SHIT.
It’s brilliant.
The colour of our shit, Brown.
Smelly, disgusting. Somehow hilarious. Toilet humour.
OUR. OU.
America, USA. Do me a favour. Favor flavour. Spelling!
Australian english.  Need to do a better fucking job.
Maybe if our education system was better, life would be better.
Learning how to be happy.
How to share.  THe tip smells from composte. Breaking down.
Is everything there in piles?

Placebo, help me. Make it better. Take the pain away.
Do I want to live longer? As in much longer. Is that my challenge?
What can I take to make me live longer.
Imagine that cocktail.
Picking blueberries.
Stained mouth. Flies everywhere. Protein
Yes that government investment. Get yourself some grilled salted fly wings.
SO FUCKING SUSTAINABLE.
Who the fuck was that business prick predicting shit.
“THE GOOGLES, THE FACEBOOKS”. fuck that guy.
Grow the potplant..
I’m stuck between that belief, intensive education.
Books. LIVRE LIVRE.
I CANT UNDERSTAND. I’m not an A student.
So what does learning a language show.
Imagine if I could do it.
MONMAMES!
I could, I could go there.
FRIDGE. I need spotify.
I’m cold.
What the fuckin heck is going on with my diet.
Meal times. Not enough sleep. Working too much.
But you have to, you need money. Right? OR should I just be a scumbag.
What is that. Just not taking a wallet anywhere. THIN
Grow thin, become a cornflake. Turn yellow with cigarettes you pick up off the ground you jackkerrouac long list of things as they just pop into your mind and describe describe let your brain go I wonder what you were like. I mean look  you just spouted genius turn ALL CAPS bullshit. You hippified your shit, didnt eat, lived beat that’s cool. You didn’t casanova for shit you died early. Could you have smiled more? You wrote so much. I dont even know if you were inspired. How where the drugs back then? What do you? When you moved home, saved. WhoWHATWHENWHEREWHYHOW? Your french? The pastries? I looked that Up. I read your book, yours and Paul Kelly’s you guys are great.
I think that I would like to replicate all the goodness you guys bring to the world.
I don’t know how much that is I”m afraid to meet my idols.
I’m scared of being Australian.
I’m worries about global warming.
I wish I was rich so I could build a bunker.
Can we stop using takeaway cups? Surely something is being destroyed there.
Maybe I should go plant some trees/
TREEATS!
How can I do something worthwhile.
Who gives a fuck if you think i’m crazy. Women i’ve met in Australia have let me down.
I let myself down. Maybe my problems are inside, i just feel bored. Rubbing against the sandpaper of society.
I chafe.
I wish for release.
I am ATLAS. Let me turn the world on its head.
Now i’m a juggler!
My KNEES ARE FINE. I will run, energetic again.
a balancing act. I want a hug.
My birthday approaches.
That miracle Karl El’ described.
This life. In your hands. Beautiful.

tt

s s

t

-isms!
What you do to forget,

occupy time.
A big part of you, where you don’t have to think.
Labelling time.
How do you escape from your emotions?
Jogging? Eating? Fighting? Drinking?
Do these things then envelope your emotions?

Imagine the productivity you could enjoy if only you poured your emotions into.
Where do these emotions come from? Living? Your heart?
Pour your heart into something.
Don’t think about your day job. Don’t think about your bread-job.

Don’t let people play games with you,
toy with your heart or your head.
Guard your mind. Fortify,
feel strong and resilient to your foundations.
Be a log on the water.
Roll with the waves, be jaunted and shunted
feel no shame, point any direction.
Does it matter if sometimes you get wet?
No tears, petrify; never break down.

We talked gossip tonight,
We spoke of emotional blackmail.
I wish we went out with Callum that would have been a laugh.
Explicitly; I trust you.

Maybe tonight was a little too much vanilla and not enough chocolate.
But that’s ok.
I’m tired, but not tired of you.
I’ve had a great time.

OH ME OH MY.

Tonight, the full belly wasted. Buddha pestle and mortared. Vino? It’s been a long week. Do I need a long walk. I feel I do.

“Ipposite”

Fat on the inside,
Fat on the outside.
Just fat?
Paunch.
Starved.
Uncomfortable waist.
Waits for no man,
Waste of time-
of resources.
Putting away paunch for another day;
When food is scarce.

Looking to be content?
I think you’ll survive. Huger pangs.
Pang.
Gong of your middle.
Not quite your core.
But a wish for an encore of food.

Bending over at the mid section.
MY KNEE!
MY KNEE!
I want this away.

My hair is clean,
My last day of yoga today.
HUGE day, so much running around.

Tried to explain my understanding of when people say “the real world”.
Terrible.

I feel like emotionally i’ve come full circle from a time before going away from Tasmania.
Study has been ok.
Drinking has been fun.
Honesty is a good game.
Went for a walk tonight with Lindsay.
Told her about my failures and conquests most recently with women.

I’m just a regular joe… Pat.
There’s my middle name.

Instead of puffy jackets people should get puffy pants.
Or electric socks.
This months look of big shirts hasn’t taken off.
B’day gift ideas are out there,
But the people and venue need sorting.

Exhausted now.

Advice: “you should just go up and kiss her”
And was listened to by nobody ever.

Idea: dip dyed hair

Teaching: Doobs French.

Yoga finished up this week, going to be taking up a lot of different things this week.

Went to the new salvos store; it was crap.

Saving money this month.

Its my birthday onthe15th.
Need to organise. BBQ? Pub? Poker?

Need to jog more, and shun social smoking.
Accounting practice, driving practice.
Things to do and do and do. Busy busy.

Hope Jon and Dec are well.

This month’s look has been a slow start. Giant t-shirts, rings and scarves.
Thought about dying my nails, growing a goatee thing.
So tired, still suffering from the weekend.

Sam, sam, sam.
Winston. William bros
Backing it up. VINO.

Doors can look after themselves
Miotaur and the manatee (childrens book)
Snow at the pub.

Girls. Wankers. Silence. Tired: ideas.
Chat about; something to chat about; chatty.
Jane Austen. Sarcasm.

Bed time psycho.

Work early.
The bigger the shirt,
The more comfort.
Infinity; bed time.

Today begins a new month. New month, new look new new new.

I wondered yesterday at the idea of contentment.
What is it that you could want at any given moment.
Brain stormed and mind mapped the ideas behind wants vs needs.
Can you set a goal for the long term and be happy over the short term?

What are my goals. Time being “spent”; how you occupy yourself.
Does it yield physical benefits. Can you look back at what you’ve done.
If history is important, is photography equally so.
If only for fashion. (God that was a horrible jumper, and a really bad haircut) –
Thank god I have a photo of that.

Is it interesting reading into things, more than living them? Ofcourse not.
Reading and life experience, *the facts: as you see them* don’t translate to being the same thing.
Living something, then writing about it for the people that aren’t committed or interested per-se in living “it”.
They just want the facts.
Why do we rinse kidney beans? What is it. That stuff; in the tin with them.
A preservative I guess.
How much preservatives do we consume on a daily basis. What are the effects on our body?
Salt is a natural preservative, are we mummifying inside?
Dried fruit! Delicious, dangerous.
Everything is fruit.
Things found in nature, GMO, Preservatives, Wax, Spray, blah blah blah.
What is safe.
The mystery of the food industry.

I put some biscuits the bin the other day.
Not compost. Just bin.
Lazy Patrick. LAZY. Why does the tip smell? Because people are lazy.
Composting isn’t looked into. Let it compost amongst the un-recyclable metals and plastics of the world.
The Australian waste problem. The epidemic that is our lack of understanding.
Be aware! These factors. Take care and realise what it is you’re creating with your laze-faire.
To be lazy is to welcome rot to the face of the planet.

The great many mysteries, compounded into a plate of food that you can’t quite finish.
Can we do anything about this?

Look at your hands,
Massage your face.
Rest and be content.
Your anxiety brought on by deep thinking suggests that there is an abyss before us; filled with the problems of the wold.
Don’t fall in. But don’t cover it up.
Bear witness to this trap.
Be a guide. Save potential victims; come to understand the depth and scale of this problem.
Are there ways for us to cure this giant hole in the soul of mother earth?
Can we fill the potentially fatal fall with rich earth; let us mend! So that the fall, if and when it occurs, is not the one and only.
The horse, never to be mounted again. For its Mariner is gone, felled to the blackness.

August. What could you be: for me.

Nails?
Hair
Scarves
Shoes?
Colours?
Open heart meditation
Bikram Yoga.

STUDY (drink less) focus.