Had a big chat with Wil today.
Still tired from my long week.
Working a lot.

Gotta organise a party at the end of the month,
Flights to Melbourne.
Uni.

My insight for the week gone by:
“the accumulation and  acquisition of money should never leave you tired”
*to which everyone has replied: but it does…*

– I think it should motivate you.
Make your decisions, about how you spend your time.
Reading “As I Lay Dying” at the moment, got some brilliant content.

Life is just the short preparation each person goes through, to get ready for spending
a great deal of time dead and buried.

So here I am. Two days late.
Its been a few hard days.
And long nights.
I return to bed, no expectations on my day today,
except for the attendance to work at 6pm.
Had The Beatles on the brain.
Djay-Djay song also.

Today that gay guy that I could talk to about anything,
He’s a hairdresser; came in.
Talked about fathers day,
How his day has passed away,
how that will then influence the reaction/celebration
(when finally they pass away)
I said I couldn’t deal with that sort of emotional stress.
He mentioned his dad was an ass. And that when his died,
he wen’t on holiday. They cremated him, and placed his ashes…
In a few different vessels. Normal right…
Each “birthday” of the father, they go, have ‘sandwiches’.
I bit-and-bitANDBIT my tongue. For the joke.
“Oh a picnic, where you play for the ashes”. Fuck my brain.
So that, work all day. Road trip. Freezing water (beach), collecting shells.
Then visited coles + the pub. Got a sugary drink.
then visited Shell Bell. Talked, tea, Fan-tales.
Then soccer 11-0 great game, driving, lifts for Edward.
4 free beers. Pale Ale (tastes shit).
Tallked to day. Put on my electric blankey.
Went and had a few beers with Alex and Eden & Rich.
Talked Arnold Swartz + The value of money.

Rich mentioned the combination of Arnie (Physical) with something more.
Intellectual aspiration. Einstein.
I combined a point I admine about the physical condition.
Then I rode home with Alex.
Eden was sick, and a bit tired.
I have been awake for 23 hours. Bite me.

Did I write a conclusion?
I totally didn’t.
I kept re-writing the start.
I had all those false starts…
You gotta read all the way through to even begin to get the end.
And to get it right? That’s something else.
Work tomorrow! What am I doing.
God damn bed.

Gotta book Japan!
Full day of it tomorrow. Shucks.

Reading ‘As I Lay Dying’.
Tough times on struggle street to begin with. I almost love it.
Maybe i’m at the wrong point in my life.
Post-modernism (I think[?])

Big day today, lots went on.
Loads got done.

huh, lets get deep.
Imagine being with a partner.
Imagine getting deep.
Peeling back all the bullshit.
Seeing the red of their heart.
The external jealousy melts away.
Realise them
The charcoal of their bones.
The steam from their veins.
The thrumming of heart strings.
Honesty, mingling with lucid and pliable maybe-thoughts.
“what if”
I think this!
I feel.
Posit, guess, make fun of, take the piss out of.
Laugh at yourself. Be deadly honest with me.
yourself. turn on the heat. Be cool
Cold. Calculated. Analyse. SILENT.
Be grave.
Feel no guilt. No expectations.
What are you wont of?
Judge me. Look at the skin stretched across my face and view me.
Interpret now and then forever onwards.
Even when we are apart. Separated.
Perhaps forever. You’ll have spent the time,
Guess at me, and my future. Looks, feelings, thoughts, emotions.
When you can’t guess anymore will you come back to me?
Is there beauty in that?
What is everyone else doing.
Is this chaos?
Could all of this be a man made world?
If I smile. Is that manmade?
Is that environmental?
Could that be something for everyone to look forward to?

I’m sorry Tom.
Happy Birthday, I’m going to be selfish and go to bed.

This will allow you to:

Win friends
Influence people
And make them all jealous.””

Last night’s poetry evening was strong but recycled.

Night in!
Assignments need writing, roasted gutter apples need eating.
Reading Jane Austen’s Emma. The main character makes reference to only eating apples
that have been triple baked! Not double, like the posh people. (For hygiene’s sake). But THREE.
So I was walking along today and found two big apples in the gutter.
Hahah. What are the chances I thought. I live, love and laugh so hard I make myself sick.
Baked apples. Clutch!

Eggs and salad for B’fast!

Went for a huge jog today,
had coffee bought a book on feminism.
Checked out some artwork in North Hobart.
Play and won pool, cooked dinner
Went to work, and here I am.

Sunday brings more fun and games.
Radio silence on the old mobile phone.
Megan Washington has a gig on tonight but I might stay in and get an early night.
Seems like there are lots of kids out tonight, and the Uni student like me, but nothing like me are out and about I do-not-doubt!

Gotta plan Japan after monday and some other things too.
I’m technically on holiday so i’ll juggle a few things into my schedule.
No drinking from here on in!
Might see how much I can improve my bench press over this next month for a laugh.
Gains’o’clock!
My new iPod kicks ass.
I gotta thank my sister.

I have the info, I have it here.
I missed next semester’s application for exchange. Tragic.
Now I need to focus on getting my grades on-track.
Lots of forms to fill, holidays to take advantage of.

I think i’ll go for a nice long drive.
No stress lad! It’s the weekend!

Fruit salad.
Sunshine,
A good book.
A new knee.
Warm water.
Enlightening debates.
Thoughtful observations.

To list a few of the things that I want.

Working out, being mindful. Current.
Brain active and thoughtful of your position at any given moment.
Open your mouth to speak? To eat? Think.
Is it enviable to be closed off?
Work hard? You’ll need more fuel.
Food, people, conversation, social.
With your outputs, you suddenly increase needs.
If you just reside, you aren’t enviable.

Expectations. Shame. Envy.

Spend yourself how you will.

Let me be nomadic.
Next year I’ll be different.

I’m letting myself down.
Asked for Thursday’s off.
But why? I’m not managing my time well.
I’m procrasinating.
Scattered.

I leant my laptop to a friend, now the buttons are fucked.
haha. That’ll teach me.

I have an assignment due, i’m mad at myself for wasting time.
I haven’t been jogging. I’ve been binge eating. Slack!

Lindsay’s Birthday soon, we’re going to Melbourne, dad is heading to Japan for three months.
I’ll go over in November.
I need to apply for a scholarship!
Car is in the bad.
Stopping drinking until Lindsay’s birthday.

Need to get back on track. Save some dosh.
Yes.
Plan. For now though, study, jog, no drinking.
TO GROUND!

Lots of little jobs.
Its Monday. Feeling heavy.
Furry electric blanket.
Fire hazzard? That’s be an ironic way to go.
Coffee with Slayer today, the sun is shining.
Feeling stretched. Gotta change my weekend lifestyle,
Looking good is all about consistency.
The sun is rising earlier and earlier.
Need to complete a whole bunch of odd jobs.
Hope Eden is OK. Family- unique and grim.

Hair. Represents sexual power?
Hair is all part of the persona and facade.
Hair is poetic.
Hair can be short, long, straigh, wavy or curly.
Hair comes in all different shapes, styles and colours.
Men and women use hair to define themselves.
As a maleable object. It can be sculpted.
Fashion and class are two socially aspected ideals that may influence how a person wears their hair.
A bad day?
A bad hair day.
A good hair day!
Sway.
Breezy.
Shampoo and conditioner.
Dye! Combs, brushes.
Don’t do anything to your hair for the rest of the year.
Haha that’d be a laugh.

Car for road trip needed.

Hip women! 20’s roaring
Assignment this week.
Hung out with shagz and his hip girlfriend.
Drank too much, ate too much.
Hung with Eden, did some uni stuff,
linds had pizza for breakfast.

Exhaustion present in my bones.
Aiee