Did I write a conclusion?
I totally didn’t.
I kept re-writing the start.
I had all those false starts…
You gotta read all the way through to even begin to get the end.
And to get it right? That’s something else.
Work tomorrow! What am I doing.
God damn bed.

Gotta book Japan!
Full day of it tomorrow. Shucks.

Reading ‘As I Lay Dying’.
Tough times on struggle street to begin with. I almost love it.
Maybe i’m at the wrong point in my life.
Post-modernism (I think[?])

Big day today, lots went on.
Loads got done.

huh, lets get deep.
Imagine being with a partner.
Imagine getting deep.
Peeling back all the bullshit.
Seeing the red of their heart.
The external jealousy melts away.
Realise them
The charcoal of their bones.
The steam from their veins.
The thrumming of heart strings.
Honesty, mingling with lucid and pliable maybe-thoughts.
“what if”
I think this!
I feel.
Posit, guess, make fun of, take the piss out of.
Laugh at yourself. Be deadly honest with me.
yourself. turn on the heat. Be cool
Cold. Calculated. Analyse. SILENT.
Be grave.
Feel no guilt. No expectations.
What are you wont of?
Judge me. Look at the skin stretched across my face and view me.
Interpret now and then forever onwards.
Even when we are apart. Separated.
Perhaps forever. You’ll have spent the time,
Guess at me, and my future. Looks, feelings, thoughts, emotions.
When you can’t guess anymore will you come back to me?
Is there beauty in that?
What is everyone else doing.
Is this chaos?
Could all of this be a man made world?
If I smile. Is that manmade?
Is that environmental?
Could that be something for everyone to look forward to?

I’m sorry Tom.
Happy Birthday, I’m going to be selfish and go to bed.

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