I’m burning up. Tonight’s effort, fond farewells, hugs, kisses, goodbyes, plans made, promises, handshakes, forced conversation, idol phone handling, suggestions, ideas. Group situation closed. Spent

“If I could spend more of my life asleep i’d be a happier person”.

PFD

Gumtree magic tonight.
Inspired!

A half way to productive day either.
Not quite there, granted. But I put up some ads and went to the beach after work.
Got some sun and some fish and chips.
Then poetry and finally just before bed I ate some cheese and had a small glass of milk.
Welcome to cheesedreamland. WoooooOOOoooo.

Here’s another brilliant M. Leunig poem:

In Menswear
He shot a brightly coloured sportscoat
With his trusty bow.

He harpooned
A large, fat couch
In the furniture department.

He clubbed
A pop-up toaster
In the electrical section.

With his bare hands
He fought a king-sized quilt
In Bedding

He cast his net in footwear
And caught
A magnificent pair of slippers.

He was a hunter.
He was a provider
He was a MAN.

Today! Today was good. Started late, with a touch of drizzle.

Had a morning coffee and caught up with my boys. My infected leg wasn’t going to give me too much trouble and I was well rested.

Before long my day was done, I ate a salad, went home, threw together a 10 minute red curry and went to catch up with my brother Jon; something i’ve neglected to do these past few months I feel. A good chat, to the point. Then off to the pool-hall to hang out with my old poker pals. Leaving an hour later, undefeated. What more can I say.  A short bike-ride home, a nibble at dinner. A quick call to the sister. Some leg drugs. And an email: my confirmation letter from uni and a timetable. I’m set! 2015. Great.

Here’s a Michael Leunig:

All men are bastards.

We will fight for equality

Until

All women are bastards too.

There’s a wonderful lady that comes into work every day with her demure dog.
She grabs the newspaper
– “Good morning”
– “Morning Liz”
– “Just grabbing the paper. A skinny latte for me thanks”
– “Of-course Liz, no worries”.

She sits mostly at table 3.

Anyway she’s a wonderful academic sort. And she recommends me books.
Most recently she lent me A WRONG TURN AT THE OFFICE OF UNMADE LISTS
It starts of slow and morbid and the driving points are mundane. But soon the train gets going and
the voyage is enjoyable and seemingly short.

I’d like to share a short passage that hit home with me and truly made me laugh.
*ahem*

“G’day who’s your team?”
“Go Doggies!”
“Nice.”
“Yours?”
“I’m a rugby man.”
No one ever knew what to say to that.
“So, Ray!”
“Yes Caddy”
“How’ve you been?”

In the next chapter I learnt that “Q.E.D” from the Latin:”quod erat demonstrandum”. Basically means.
“Yeah I told you, Booyah! Enough said.”

Front to back; an interesting read.
A mite of morbid.
A spoonful of strange.
Kindred to Kurt Vonnegut
Real and humorous.
I like. Thanks Liz.

Cleaning up, moving out, heading home.

I’m procrastinating! My leg is infected. I shouldn’t be in a sitting position as it doesn’t help circulation.
Also it’s lovely outside. Also… I wanted to start that art project. Oh yeah the washing… I love that shirt. Better brush my teeth again. And shower. And clean the grill in the kitchen.

So UNI.
No wait Blogging.
Facebook.
Weather.
Packing.
Gifts to friends.
Postcards yes! Write and send postcards.
It is nice outside, would walking be good for my leg?
I need to take my meds.
Maybe i’ll read.
Ok reading is done.
Time to blog.
Procrastination you say?

On a seriously disgusting note. I haven’t had sex this year. I’m also not going out and drinking, and I’m working full time. So I haven’t really got that going for me. haha
But the reason I bring it up, is because I was cleaning the bathroom and I found a used condom that had…
-well how do i put this-
Fossilized. Underneath the sink, wash basin.

My first instinct was to laugh, pick it up and bin it.
Then as I realise it’s almost melted into the wood paneling, I also realise it’s probably not even mine.
-And is that BLOOD?
*GAG* holy fucking guacamole! What am I DOING?!
*Wash wash wash my hand with soap, detergent, bleach, fire.* forever unclean.

So I message my housemate, and he explains it isn’t his. That it’s been there for AGES. He just left it there! Because I: JUST LEFT IT THERE.
Obviously at that time I was caught up in the moment and forgot to bin it.
But my housemate though… He new!
He new it was there and he did nothing. Didn’t even bring it up. For months!
How could he have slept? [the bathroom is next to his room]
If by some twisted Frankenstein-y miracle that thing came to life. He was a goner.
After hours of scrubbing, a zip lock bag, the mission impossible soundtrack and some serious cleaning agents.
All evidence been erased of that twisted, nightmarish geological find.
I’m ashamed in a hilarious kind of way.

Went to emergency ward today straight from work; nothing quite like a swollen up leg out of nowhere (spider bite -still remains a mystery-) to get you into gear.

Sidenote: 5 hours in ER. My friends make burgers and miss me out. In my own fucking home. -HOW DO YOU EVEN MAKE FRIENDS LIKE THAT-

During my lengthy stay, I had 3 doctors (1 in training) 2 nursers (one was horrible) and the always pleasant fun time happy go lucky rainbow adventure that is “needle time”.

let me clarify! “I’m fine. I’m great with needles. Jab me all day. Bring out the rookies…”

“Oh you actually did. ”

-Holy shit this always happens to me-

is that the vein bro?!NOMANGIVEITAWIGGLE. And i’ll just laugh about it. (It felt that way, wiggle wiggle he still fucking missed.) missed on the second attempt, on my other arm too.

-Now let me just point out, my veins are shit, i’m not that guy with them jutting out everywhere, I use to be a fat kid,

I always ate lots of butter. I’m just super regular and I don’t lift weights or try to get jacked at the gym. TT on SS.

So they turned me into a pin cushiom, had to call someone else to stick a needle in me, then I got a horrible nurse that:

(I fucking swear by this) somehow made my IV drip painful.

Instead of getting mad I laugh at things like that.. So today I laughed alot.

i’ve been up since 4am and went to bed at 11. Australia won, Chelsea drew, and I lost.

“So when is Patrick returning from rainbow?”

-Everyone’s been asking. Especially me.

Last night I was shivering, with a fever and headspins (not the dance move).

I caught up with some friends to see a show. “Big Gay Cruise”. It was fabulous!

My good friend Ben played a big role, and stole the show.

Alas, now:

My body is broken. My mind is goop

This day i’ve awoken with a blood clot in my leg.

Work

Ikea

Exhaustion

Exercise

-local park in the sun-

Cauliflower rice- nice one Mitch.

Chores

Tennis.

Unfortunate for me I’m still feeling terrible.

Work today was a real struggle, still managed a jog and some chores when I got home.

lots on my mind.

Books to read.

Uni to sort.

brother is skydiving tomorrow

i’m moving to hobart in under 3 weeks.

these sentances aren’t starting with capital letters.

i want to watch finding nemo in french.

i want to watch seinfeld.

How many kilos of kit do i have, 25kgs enough?

why did i bother expending the effort talking to Mitch my housemate tonight.

i still need to paint the globe Black…

goodnight world.