Set Reductio

*Curtain raises on women in a sauna.
[Silence]
*Curtain lowers.

*Curtain raises on men in a sauna.
{Silence}
*Curtain lowers.

Curtain raises on a nude man and woman.
Man: Shall we sit?
Woman: It is cold.
Man: Sit on me.
Woman: Isn’t that inappropriate.
Man: Should we go out for coffee?
Woman: Do we have the resources?
Man: Can I have a hug?
Woman: Do you need a hug?
Man: I think so.
Woman: OK. But not now.

*curtain lowers.

*Curtain raises on men and women in sauna.
Man: Why do we always sit quietly in saunas?
Woman: You can do better than a “why” question. If you keep asking why questions you’ll never be happy.

Man: I was happy asking a why question.
Woman: Were you unhappy not asking it?
Man: Yes, I told you I need a hug.

*Curtain lowers.

*Curtain raises on nude man and woman in a group of clothed extras.
Woman: We figured coffee today because its so sunny.
Man: Yesterday all I needed was a hug but I never got it
(These could be made to their separate genders as they walk to meet up)

*The gangs meet at Subway*
Man: Oh my god! These tables are molten!
Woman: I bet I can keep my hand on the table longer than you.
Man: What do you bet?
Woman: A coffee.
Man: How about a hug.
Woman: How about a hug and a coffee!
Man (raising an eyebrow): You’ve outsmarted me again

*They test their pain thresholds on the molten table*
*Curtain closes*

*Curtains raise the woman is in hospital*
Woman: I’m sorry I won that game years ago.
Man: Thats OK Cookie.
Woman: I wish I didn’t have such a pain threshold. Maybe then I wouldn’t have experience childbirth.

Crap I gotta get to class this is terrible.

The yearly password change

Dang it. I hate the yearly password change.
Now my passwords are all new and nonsense.
Numbers and letters all in a jumble.
Even talking about it makes me nervous.

Tonight I went to a comedy event.
Talks of grape-fruits.
Divorce.
Oranges.
Bags.
Pools.
Beer.
Exchange.

We talked too much as a group and received a glare from the woman with the deep voice. I assume sh-he’s gender neutral. Which is cool, its ok, but i’m assuming; which is funny, in the spirit of comedy. The “double threat” just took on a comedic meaning for me. Leave me to it. I’ll keep digging. Shocking. Where are my manners.

That night, accessories in prime colours but everything else black.
It was then, with my growing mustache it dawned on me that my suspect looks were because I looked perverted somehow. Alas. You can’t even go for a walk without needing to put in headphones and look down. Don’t you dare go out and smile at a strange, don’t dare.

Wrote about poetry.
Probably as dry as it sounds.
Drank a shot of vodka and one beer.
See-Saw the world in great detail.

Home for a cup of tea,
A game, and bed.

“honing blades dilutes the mind” – after a conversation with father.

Define Tryst.

Quote of the night from a guy I know Armi: “Just use the fucking phone”, when a question went unanswered for too long, by his count. hahaha. I laughed like hell.

“LUKE BRYAN: Oh my god, the worst kind of music I have sat through”

Mac Miller: Rapper.

NAMES

Names and the importance of names.
“I just like sitting”
The hodge podge.
The fat of my belly.
The slop of my arse.
The cough of my lungs.
The smear of my frowning lips.
The sweat on my brow.
The silence of my reaction.
The whites of my eyes.
My failure to disguise-
My disgust.
My rusted dehydrated mind.
My lack of strength.
My confusion.
My rudeness.
Me as a split.
Me being bent and broken.
Me in mayhem.
Me lost in reflection.
The Me,
The My.
The… The wasabi of my thoughts, in my flowing eyes. Chilled, hot tears rush and run and I read out loud upon my face my thoughts and I worry and I fear that everyone can see and they do, they really do. But they cannot meet it, or tackle it head on. No, no not at all. And what would they say.
What would they say these people?
“Don’t worry, or don’t do that, or chin-up, or better yet don’t be sad”.
And I grin my sick grin and I know I can still function for I can, I can and I am.
Ready, willing and able. Oh yes, I function well, I do my best work like this.
But you, this feeling attacks you, and i’ll let it, because my energy here is raw and chaotic and thats my rent, thats my breakage, honest leakage for everyone to deal. Because what could be more real than that? Yes, yes yes you reel.
You recoil in fright and my downcast eyes blink away tears of reality.
The biting cold,
my lost focus.
My innability to hide and mask. My honest heart.
Bleeding salted tears, rippling across my face.
Snarling across my lips.
Blowing from my nose.
Steaming from my neck.
Bulging from my jaw
Biting tension, throbbing from my temples.
The tautness of thoughts, resplendent-
unmistakable in the stretched skin of my cranium.
And this stretch makes all tune in.
The tone, its binary and vibrancy.
The song of suffering.
The focus of the bells of my mind,
ring out in theirs.
Hears and fine tuned hairs shriek.
Mood, feelings, hopes and happiness shredded.
Cure me, guillotine me, have him beheaded.
Smile, don’t worry, its OK.
Silence.

We’re all learning to live a lost thing.

And names! Who do I want to say this?

Duchcy.
Echco.

Ecco
Duchy

Duci
Echo

Echo: What’s that Duci?
Duci: Its nothing Echo.
Echo: You did it! You found it, a true nothing?
Duci: Oh, no. I was wrong its something. Grit you could call it.
Echo: Grit
Duci: Dust? Or dirt.
Echo: Oh dirt!
[silence]

Echo: Well you better throw it.
Duci: Dust to dust.
Echo: Dirt to dirt.
[silence]

Echo: Neither, its grit by my eyes. And for the taste…
(Tastes what Duci threw on the ground)
Echo: Oh yes *spits*, true grit. My teeth know the taste well.
Duci: Its a hard life we lead.
Echo: Life? Lead?
Duci: Indeed.
Echo: So how about… something.
Duci: We do that every day. Always looking for an angle. A something.
Echo: Something to do! Yes!
Duci: Can’t we agree to not encourage one another, we could be the very best of friends if you didn’t always suggest this sort of thing. Do something indeed.
[Echo fidgets]

Echo: Don’t suppose you want to do anything then.
Duci: It doesn’t matter, anything will happen. Its something I don’t like, too specific. Its like getting to the bottom of that dirty business before. Why do we need to know, why do I do it to myself?
Echo: It helps you.
Duci: Helps me? Oh god, now i’m echoing you, this is a mess. I told you something would happen.
Echo: That is something.
Duci: Its all gone to dirt.
Echo: That helps.
Duci: Oh aye, I can finally finish my book: “The finer destinctions”. Grit, dirt and dust a detailed analysis on somethings, that matter.

Echo: All things matter.
Duci: That’s what everyone else thinks. I think its all made up.
Echo: We all know it’s made up of matter!
Duci: Oh god.
Echo: Well if you think so, that’s OK too.
Duci: Oh dear.
Echo: I’m glad you think so!
Duci: Gla… Glad? Glad indeed!
Echo: You’ve said it three times now, I forget what it means, funny how that happens, don’t you think?

Duci: Quite the query Ecco! I think I do. Because I know things are always going. We talked about this. The day things stop doing, when something finally doesn’t happen then I’ll think not. If only you’d give me peace.
Echo: I don’t follow.
Duci: Tabernak!
Echo: Taxi-cab!
Duci: This is fruitless Eco!
Echo: She’ll be apples! And peeled grapes. A quander to you, a right fruit of the forest we’re in for.
[Both Duci and Echo are splashed by a passing car and soaked]

Echo: We’re in the deep end.
Duci: (sarcastically) Har-har.
Echo: Probably for the best, we can’t swim.
Duci: We? I can.
Echo: Can not.
Duci: I, not, can not.
Echo: Nobody speaks like that!
Duci: Hang it, I can.
Echo: Oh… CAN… NOT.
Duci: Not like that.
[Echo is confused and pulls an umbrella out of his sleeve but doesn’t share]

Echo: Knock knock.
Duci: Umbrella…
Echo: No you say who’s there, or something like that.
[Duci ducks his head]
Duci: Don’t say that word!
Echo: Knock Kn-what word?
Duci: Umbrella.
Echo: I don’t follow.
Duci: I want the umbrella. And don’t say something to me, or anything for that matter. You said you lost that anyway, that’s mine. You should give it back.
Echo: This old thing? This is mine. Some…one gave it to me.
Duci: Be more specific! I lent it to you, and not I want it back!
Echo: We can share! Its something to do. Like I sometimes say its easier to grit than dirt.
Echo: Or was is dust? Easier to grit than dust? No… No easier to dust grit that dirt. Yes. No. That’s not right. Dirt dusting? No that’s not quite right. Dirts a chimney duster. No. Slim dusty, that can’t be right. Dust is a dirty word. Grit your dust in your dirty? I give up.
Duci: Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
Echo: No we didn’t find ash. Ash is supposed to find us. Although you do look pale.
Duci: Pale?
Echo: Yes pale, like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you OK?
Duci: Yes I’m fine.
[Echo raises his eyebrows and blows wind dramatically out of his mouth]

Echo: Fine? Fine. Fine! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Oooooooooh! Fine!
Duci: Just stop, would you. How are you?
Echo: I’m fine toooooooooo! Ooooooooh-so-fine. My names fine. Just call me fine.
Duci: “Just fine”, your poor parents.
Echo: Sublime! There’s your humour and merits!
Duci: What’s got you so jovial in this rain anyway?
Echo: Whats there to be sad about, we aren’t here to stay.
Duci: We are for now.
Echo: But not forever. Anyhow-
Echo: Its the see-saw effect, affect as you want.
Duci: What are you talking about?
Echo: Did you not hear me? Shall I… shout?
Duci: I hear you, I didn’t understand.
Echo: Aye, maybe you’d never. What do you demand?
Duci: Go on, share. Tell me more. Go on, go on, go on.
Echo: Shall I tell you something?
Duci: Yes! GO ON.
Echo: Yes! Breakthrough. OK its like this my little Ducky. When you’re down in the dumps, I mean really in the slumps, bottom planted on the pavement, soggy both your rumps. Then I’m here to pick you up, lead by example. Show you life and happiness, your friend, follower and umbrella wielding pal.
Duci: That’s not a see-saw.
Echo: Ah you see though me!
Duci: Har-har.

Echo: You saw through me. [does the hand gesture alone his midriff]
Duci: Forget it.
Echo: Oh come now, sit.
Duci: In the wet?
Echo: Well… yes, why not, it’s not forever.
Duci: I’m more comfortable standing.
[Echo steps one to the right and sits with the umbrella and waits…]

[Duci sighs and joins him, sitting on the wet ground]
Echo: Its nice down here.
Duci: This is some kind of seesaw.
[Duci cringes]
Echo: Ah-hah! High treason, treachery you philanthropist! You cynic! You hypocrite! Not so critical now. That was my aim all along. Get you seated, get you comfortable.
Echo [Aside]: Wait for the intermission and PAH! FIE! Gotcha with the umbrella. And who’s was the murder weapon? Not I? Aye. Not me, He! Ah, he-he! Critic.

Duci: Who are you talking to?
Echo: Myself.
Duci: This is the doldrums.
Echo: Not at all my friend of the dumps. Not at all, where was I?
Duci: Somewhere I’m sure of it.
Echo: Yes, small sweet victories of the see-saw. When you’re sad, i’m happy. When you’re sad i’m happy. When you’re sad… I’m happy. There’s more. ummm—
[Echo waits, thinking… then stands]
Echo: Ah yes!
Duci [uncomfortable, looking up]: Yes?
Echo: When you’re happy, I can be sad.
Duci: That’s a quite a trade off.
Echo [spins]: Yes quite, we’re so close you and I. You understand, we bleed the same blood, we’re part of a model that isn’t in existence. I know that doesn’t help you understand but its real, trust me.
Duci: A model?
Echo: Yes you are.
Duci: Go on.
Echo: Ah! And ego! I falter.
Duci: We’ve been talking again haven’t we.
Echo: The bus will come soon.
Duci: Maybe we could walk to the next stop?
Echo: Risky business!
Duci: Not really.
Echo: Gambler! Sinner! Action man! Fool!
Duci: Shall we.
Echo: Well sure, we have to do… something.
Duci: Indeed.

[They link arms and and begin to walk]
Duci: Do you think we’ll make it?
Echo: Nobody ever has.
Duci: Perhaps we should turn back?
Echo: Not a chance, that’s not how the see-saw works. I hope you’re happy.
Duci: Hope’s a dirty something.
Echo: And we grit it, grit until we’re dust.
Duci: Oh look now you’re all down.
Echo: No i’m not.
Duci: No… the umbrella. You put it down.
Echo: Ah yes. Maybe we’ll meet Ash?
Duci: He’ll be in his canoe if he is.
Echo: My ferry man is he!
Duci: It must be a dirty business.
Echo: He catches em all.
Duci: You young are all the same
Echo: We thought it was the best of games.
Duci: I can’t see where I’m going.
Echo: Close you eyes if you need showing.
Duci: You’re enjoying this.
Echo: There’s no risk for me.
Duci: Eco the waters in my boots.
Echo: So swim!
Duci: I can’t
Echo: Lies! Have you been baptized?
Duci: Ecco don’t play games, find me a raft.
Echo: Make one!
Duci: I can’t!
Echo: Well thisin’t the see-saw game.
Duci: This is real life.
Echo: Really.
Duci: I suppose this is goodbye.
Echo: How dramatic.
Duci: Dramatic is something.
Echo: You think so?
Duci: Do you?
Echo: I do.
Duci: That’s beautiful.
Echo: I’ll follow you.
Duci: Blub-blub-blub
Echo: I hope you know the way.

[They walk off stage]

Story Essay

I awoke to a message from my brother. He asked me if I’d come and hang out. I didn’t see him as human, barely a brother so absent that he was.
I went out, I could tell he’d been crying. Like the charge of the air before a storm. I could tell.
He was turned away from me when I pushed open his door. Towards the corner of the room, furthest from the doorway he was looking. Stretching, on one leg, putting a decorative ticket into the highest reaches of the room’s corner where the ceiling met the walls. All exposed wood, not logs like our shack all the way down south that our father had built. It was the common wooden plank. Not rich, not poor, treated and mysterious with its imperfections ingrained in the wood. He heard me come in, but continued with his one legged attempt at blue-tacking artwork into the highest reaches of his room.
I could say I wondered what had been making him cry. But I could tell, I could usually tell. We’re siblings, we know enough about each other, our lives and their inner workings. Family is secret, dad had had to tell us once upon a time. Probably over a candle lit dinner. Not for mood, or want of atmosphere but because in those days we lived at the shack. Without electricity candle wax creating molten red and grey streams. By the end of the night dad would pull out his swiss army knife and remove any wax droplettes from the table, a pointless repitition. Like a nervous tick, he would do that without fail.

The bottles that held the candles aloft like an extension of the olympic torch would be mottled with the waxen formations. Like volcanic refuse, melting, running, drying in layers. Once set, not easily removed. Like an armour, a tiny model, the bottle a mould for a strange protective casing.
Mother would teach us to make dribble castles those summer. Build your foundations with sand. Then using the wettest sand you can find, the sort that occurs at the bottom of a deep hole that you’ve dug on the beach. Then taking the wet sand, as is runs and slips through your finger, you pour it. As if it were wet cement, in need of more sand. You dribble the sand. And it piles upon itself magically. Dribbling, and defying gravity. I stood there. Looking at my brother, looking at him balancing on one leg, pushing the paper to the wall with his two thumbs, and I thought of him as a candle, I thought of him as a castle. A turret. Older than I by some four years, solidly built, isolated at this time. He was himself locked away in this tower. Alone, only to send for help, for comfort and company in the form of a sister. How could I help? I was to be the stone in the river. You see the water rush over, that is time’s destuctive errosive nature. And yes, you are rubbed smooth, rolling uncontrollably. Sometimes rapidly feeling un-grounded. But when the stream dries up, the stone remains, and for him, during this passage of time. Regardless of his emotional head over heels. I was there for him.

I said Hi.
He said nothing. But nothing does not come of nothing with loved ones. Because you choose to bring something. And you don’t need a reward or a reasoning. You bring the explainable, and you chance offense. Risk the dangers, beyond life and limb or social stigma. The basics of conversation, your expectations. You put your yardstick down, into the muddy water and you hope that there aren’t any repercussions that will be yours to suffer.

We stayed like this a while, his back to me.
I perched on the foot of his bed. There were fishes on the covers. Blue and black streaks were the water. And the fish, large and tropical. All staring back with un-comprehending eyes. Judging. Looking out at the world as if it were a morsel. Darkness in those eyes, were mirrored i’m sure in my brothers. Dark rings of anguish that ebbed from his faces features. Poor guy, I really am afraid to get to know him.

He tired after twenty minutes. I wore him down with my silent good intentions.
We talked and I told him a story of work. I’d been called that day by Jen. Jen was the morning receptionist and I came in usually just after midday to replace her. So she called at 11 and said in a perplexed tone.
“Hey… So you know the bucket that catches the run off water from the air-con”
“Yeah” I said.
“Well the bucket is full, and it stinks and I think there’s an octopus in there, I’m going to put the bucket out the back, can you throw it away?”
I laughed and said “What?!” and “OK…”
The line went dead.
Sure enough when I arrived at work and relieved Jen, she took me out the back and pointed to the murky bucket.
“I just didn’t know what to do” she said.
I looked over the bucket, it was full and it reeked.
The water was a murky grey.
I got a stick and tried to swirl the water around and get a better look.
It wasn’t an octopus it was a squid. A bit larger than i’d seen in whole-sale fish stores but my mind began working out reasons for this circumstance to have occured.
My brother interrupted the retelling.
“The people, the patrons of your gym are psychotic, rich elitists. Everyone’s crazy and hides it but these guys get a kick out of pranks like this” He was shaking his head.
“The same guy that deals with million dollar investments is the same guy that does a shit in the shower room I bet, and he thinks its funny. Honestly I’m worried for you working in a place like that, people are unhinged maniacs”.
He felt like he’d already cracked it.
Jen at the time asked me if I thought the “octopus” had come out of one of the pipes, or crawled into the bucket from the ocean. I wondered what kind of fabulously augmented version of reality this blonde bimbo hailed from. But I suppose she was in a mild state of nonsensical shock.
“No, I think someone put it there Jen, you know… As a joke”. I said laughing.
“Oh, yeah. But who”.

Who indeed I thought to myself. There were only maybe 15 people that had come in that day. There were no cameras in this part of the gym, its close to the change rooms and everyone that’s a member we know well enough to be on a first name basis.
The smell of the squid, made me think it’d been there for a day or two. So that opened up the possibilites somewhat.
All of this I told my brother, and he got to work trying to crack the case. Mystery solver, complex problems of the classic who-done-it. His eyes had lightened by now, and they smiled with his lips pursed into a confused contorted a half smile.

He lauged at Jen, the character Jen. How she was unable to throw the squid away herself, the fact she called it an octopus and thought that it’d come out of one of the pipes. What did she think was in all the pipes? One day your filling your water bottle then BLAM, new pet goldfish.
“I guess it just slipped through the cracks” he mused aloud
“What an idiot”.
“and why did you have to bin it? How could she NOT do that herself?” – there was still a trace of anger or sadness in his voice from before. His frustrations were expressing themselves in his immersion.
I laughed.
“She didn’t know what to do, that’s all”.
He asked me “so what did you do? Did you just throw it into the bin, all wet and gross?” He pulled a face.

That cracked me up, remembering that poured the contents of the bucket over the grate of a drain and seeing that the squid hadn’t slipped through the small bars I got a plastic bag and put the squid in it. Then I went across the road to the park and put the squid on the ground. It was a popular dog park, and it felt funny to release the squid back into nature.
My brother looked at me, shocked.
“you’re as bad as the psychopaths of your gym” he said.
“you’re just continuing the cycle!”
“I can imagine some poor dog walker now ‘what’s this?! A squid? How did it get here… don’t eat it buddy'”.
So the plot thickened I suppose and in all of these stages you wonder how, when, where and why.
Who bought the squid and brought it in, in a gym bag.
Was there intention? Or were they just opportunistic. Sacrificing their dinner of squid rings for a cheap thrill. Murky waters of laughter.
Or was it Jen?! I mean surely she isn’t that naïve OR useless.
Why the bucket? Why the gym?
Its like shitting where you eat.
Its jarring reality. Its thought provoking. Its fear mongering, from fish mongering.
Who did it. Why. When. To what ends.

I had work early the next day, and promised my brother I’d play it deadpan until somebody brought it up. Then we’d have our suspects.
And to date there has been nothing. That was months ago and yet I remember it like it’d happened earlier today.
Me standing over the bucket. Emptying it, then going across the road with the joke and continuing the mystery.
We’re all doing this. Feeding into one another’s poor constructed perception.
I didn’t learn anything so much about my brother that day, instead I feel like I showed him a little of the humanity we all share. And maybe that helped.
Emotion like that, helps you sleep.
Let the rent open up, and the lava flow so then in the aftermath we have a comparable peace. And time will unveil in its red and grey run on. Folds, wrinkles and rivers illuminated overhead. As we burn down, the light of out lives. Cause for our own demise. Whatever you do, don’t leave a mark on the table.

Your hair your eyes.

Your hair, you eyes.
How you actualize.
Materialize.
Between your thighs.
Us smitten guys.
My wondering whys.
I can’t disguise-
my disgust.

At self, at you.
Everyone around.
What am I doing here.
Quit looking my way.
But don’t, don’t really.
Intentional, tension.
The drunk will throw himself down the stairs.

And you ask me.
You ask me:
“What are you thinking about”?
And I tell you, I answer.
I say:
“I’m thinking about how unimportant language is for me right now, I’m just picking up signals, looks and body language”.
Nothing you guys say to me tonight could be important.
No, not to me.
I didn’t come here for important things.
That’s not constructed, the boat floats and rocks gently.
You are gentle, simple creatures.
But we might be here for the most important thing of all.

So I look at you,
Shameless.
I’m not sure if I like your hair.
Your nose is a bit big,
you have big eyes and lovely skin.
Your form underneath.
Clothes, skin.
Your nails, and dainty wrists.
Long legs and angled arms.
Jutting elbows and elven ears.

And now I sit, just listening to tone.
watching faces. Patient and thinking.
Your words mean nothing to me.
But I am here, thankyou for that.
You’ve been more than considerate.

oh god nonsense.
Mirror, sheets.
Replicated bon chance
An end meets.

Anticafe

Today in Montreal, the aftermath and aftermatch feeling from football to that -of waiting for godot. My, what a win!
Biblical, baresensical. Loaded with coffee toast. The decadent, double storey complete establishment. Like prison, hospital or google; the place with all you’ll ever need.
Now for the gallery. Modern madness, as we were all born.
Truly wild, and genius.
Put on your thinking hat.

Waiting for god.
Oh god oh god.
Rubble, rustle.
Rocks and trees.

Time is hustles
Cups of teas.
Memory motif
Gosh what time!

Believe to vote if-
You give us a sign.
Completed loops
Not jump through hoops.

Benefactors alike.
I’ll be on my bike.

Up the ante.
Anti anti anti.
Oi oi oi.

Party, people poem

This weekend gone by has been great.
I wondered if the more you exercise and put muscles on the outside of yourself, for others to see; if somehow you lessened your internal muscles. Your ability to voice, and adventure forth in an enjoyable verbal sense.
I feel that when I’m at the gym my self talk is very high.
I observe people, and I create in my mind what they might be thinking.
“What are they doing?” – Then I project, indeed I create and fantasize.
I’m really not sure how in tune I am with the movement of some people.
The sexiest part of a person is their back.
Their lower back.
If you can make your lower back look good, I will follow you to the depths.
Aye Inferno.
The movie.
Dante’s dirty dealings.
Fantasy, beauty, loath and love.
What an adventure.
Circles and circles.
Why not triangles; looking down from above this would almost make sense.
Semanitics, constructs. Pentagrams, shapes, codes and violence.

Yes. What lengths will these people go to, to live.
To save the lives of others.
The high horse.
The ticking clock, the forestalling of humanity’s growing poplualtion.
The scar, the stagnation. Swamped. Idyllic.
Crazed.
But humaity will survive. Even if the bad thing happens.
What will follow will be unique to the time, and will influence the once consciousness.
We can all take action.
Employ morals.
Hope for the powers we’ve leashed the control- that they will do enough right by us.
If not then we will rally. Won’t we?
The power of pain for influencing behaviour.
Morals. And women in roles of power.
The funniest moment for me was when the professor says:
“Ask that guy, and its a woman”. Trig.

So I went to a 90’s party.
There was dancing on tables, choker chains, lots of denim, spice girls, backstreet boys… the whole she-bang. It was a good old time. Danced like a mad man, with an exam the next morning. Stuck it out until 1am. Then off to bed. The girls had a sparkle in their eyes, the boys were gesticulating.
Some guys threw ice at the bar tender – it was strange, he got very angry.
Who cared? Not me, so much.
The frenchyz showed up late.
I went to my room and studied.
Everyone came by my room and caused a rucus over the next 2 hours.
I went to bed, ready for the next day.
Black + White and a grey tie. What a look.
Probably lost on everyone that day.

That afternoon I went for a heroic run, new shoes. Record times.
Then the 1xPunch Man training regime.
100
100
100
Then another party. We played the coin game.
Tooney flick.
Two finger hockey.
People were calling me “Australia”.
I didn’t really like it.
My corked wine was from Chile and disgusting.
I sat and chatted. Got comfortable.
One of the girls was in translation, and there was a girl that was struggling to get my jokes, actually a few of them really struggled. The scary vegan that looked me up and down; the hostility, the fakeness, it made me squirm. The old fight of flight.
I could have jocked her. But that’s not party vibes, somebody should have told her.
I wan’t in the mood. So I pleasantly asked her opinion. She cracked. I cracked her. It was all a big farcical mask. I didn’t appreciate it. But I wore my own well.
No cracks there, just wise-cracks.
And the jokes, oh the jokes. What came to the fore. The good the bad the ugly.
“Deep and meaningful”.
-the anime section.
-spiders.
-Hair
-Languages.
-The U.N.
-Strip clubs
-Exes
-Decoration
– there was a bit of sharing, I tried to include a lame couple; to everybody’s detriment. Why do I bother. Not to worry.

The next day it snowed.
I made a snow man.
Somebody kicked his head off, not one hour later.
Carrot and all, sprayed across the front garden.
Sick.

Forward the light brigade!
Was there a man dismayed?
Not though the soldiers knew
Someone had blundered:
Their’s not to make reply.
There’s not to reason why.
Their’s but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Earth, Art-Eh

There once was a man from Afghanistan, who had three sons.

The Caspian Sea, apparently has Magpies? I thought that were only in Australia.

What is in a self portrait?
Self obsession?
Narcissus?
Its like a minor vanity.
Perception of self.
Yourself seen by others.
How they WANT to see you vs how you want to see you.

Its like the vanity chain.
Which sees its apex in children.
Seeing yourself in you kids.

And there I was, gifted with the uncomfort of analysis.
Eyes, glinting.
Gleaming.
Bright, bright eyes.
What does it mean about you.
if your eyes change.
Clear, alive. Furtive, confident. Happy.
The colours. Vivid, noticeably brighter.

left side,
right side,
Smile.
What does the victory of a dominant, or lopsided smile show us?
What does it mean?
A WHAT QUESTION. I’m sorry.

When you look at you drafted ideas, your days work and you read one sentence:
“Men could become transvestites, but it would be comic because.”
Ok…
Nailed it, bonus points for the all inclusive conclusion.
I hope I don’t “WIN” all my debates that way. Talk about train of thought.

Death is the location of all impossible signs. “Fascinated by nothing visible”
Talking as self gratification.
Touching and tasting oneself.

As if to say:
Who am I
What are we humans
We shall not know, for we are the image, the very subject of our own desire.
Too close to ourselves.
Not removed.

The infinite pursuit of an absent object.

Lets stay light.

Poor old Edouard.
Has food poisoning, probably from the uncooked chicken he ate.
That, after the appendix debacle and the broken foot.
Deary me, dreary him.

Today for me?
I spent the day in the “loud library”. Where they bring you food and drinks.
Yes, yes a cafe. “pressed” Not depressed, or impressed. I people watched, eaves dropped, even spoke to some strangers.
It all should have been great-
and it was, doing all those things.
But the service dried up.
I tipped after a few hours of work and went on my way.

A girl walked in, was met by a young guy.

“Take a seat”. He said.
“Where are you?” She responded.
“Oh— I work here”. He said.

It was all horribly cute. Awkward and confused.
Like anyone walking in anywhere new off the streets perhaps.
I think I have a class with her.
Or maybe she just has one of those memorable faces.
Maybe it wasn’t her.
I can’t remember looking at that exact moment, just heard, wrote and chuckled.

Oh yes! The word GESTICULATE:
Use gestures, especially dramatic ones, instead of spoken emphasis.
It makes me think “Testicular” for some reason. And I always imagine its bad when someone say’s gesticulate.
Not to worry.

Ah I need new runners and will buy some this Friday.

I went to a barber and got a hot shave, did I say this already?
The barber was OK. His name was Medhi.
He doesn’t drink alcohol, and he will open a cafe soon.

QUI
PEUT
SAUVE
The art.

See montreal play on tuesday, watch Drogba play.

12th Nov. 2016 00:31. I will join you.

Julie and…
Shana

Sasha the legend of zelda.

Citizenship and dad.

Currency IS
current see.
People are an ocean, sea, 1:01.
LOL leet speak.

Oliver
Matthew.

TOUT.

Write birthday message with ‘citethisforme’

Severence from the kinship of both humanity’s genders.

If everything is mental,
Is out thinking what causes tumors?
What can our mind do?
And what does it constantly do.

Why are there televisions in bars and cafes? The diner should be a place of social..

Remember when we went cupping with Ange? He was buzzing. Declan?

Patrick: Do you remember “Angey Babey”, those silly shoes, those red tattoos, the banging of the neighbours, the sitting on the couch, the spilling of the plant, the showers, the night you talked and screamed so loud as you walked arm in arm through the meadows. Do you remember when you thought yourself mad. And man, when she fed you, when she worked down the road. When she moved to Germany. When Tom, the guy with the enormous penis, told you that he knew all of your secrets and you couldn’t guess what they were. Because you don’t have any. And you hadn’t shared what they didn’t know. So how could someone ever know a secret? Strange. I gotta bite my fist on that one. I remember the picnic story that I told about him. God I put my foot in it.

Buying anything for fitness is a sham.

I’m so fussy it’s pointless. Needless for me to explain, I’ll be happy. Which is also unhappy. With everything. For I know nothing is what I want.
We all do.

And i’m up to Mcdonalds.
Gonna go print some stuff. That’s enough shared for now.

Sing

All things grow outward,
Upward from the Tree.
Spreading out,
All things attached-
natural, real.
And from this Tree,
blowing in the unknown wind.
Standing out from the unknown ground.
Reaching towards the unknown sky-
night or day or still, unknown.

But for the tree,
It is known.
All its many branches, are said to have been explored.
Though some of them forgotten,
lost, or out of bounds.
Owned by some secretly,
Under construction; yet to grow.
This is where we keep all the things we know.
All the things that are natural.
And visiting this tree,
are the birds.

And all, all the birds.
With all their very many wings.
Jumping and dancing-
fluttering in the unknown breeze.
There feathers and ideas.
Hidden muscles and meaning in these.
Where did they come from?
They didn’t grow on the tree.

No, not like the fruits.
Mushy pears, red apples and green bananas.
No, no not like the fruits.
They are from the tree-
All natural. Understandable-
They feed and nourish fertility.
Falling away, into nothingness.
Almost as if they never were.

From the tips of the tree,
This genre. An Art. Titled and told:
As it were “The great misunderstanding”.
Nothing worked, so much as happened.
The growth wasn’t towards anything.
Nor was the word growth strictly accurate.
That’s why the birds only hooted, and howled.
Sung and chirruped.
To the sun, they expressed surprise.
Singing gaily. Sometimes when something-
the elements foretold snow and sleet.
Rain, wind or something else equally mysterious,
the birds would pull about them their wings.
Feathers, as ideas of shelter.
Fore the Tree had no hollows.
It was solid and unholed.
Reliable and resolute until.

Until one day the Tree grew,
sprouting upon one large light brown limb-
a good many buds, like never before.
Violet and rich, the birds pecked.
The taste was sweet,
The nectar that bled down.
Felling down in droplets into nothingness.
The birds swooped in a frenzy.
One purple bud grew, besieged not by birds.
This bud was hidden, and grew on a very high branch-
in a completely different wing of the tree.
A mysterious wing, it grew bulbous.
Rich and swollen at its base, it looked like
the tail of an all but forgotten creature.

There was no real awareness of the when, or how-
but one day with the light that illuminated the tree,
shining from no great area or thing, sprung an umbrella.
With a wooden hold aft,
A translucent filament connecting the spurs.
the thing was huge, like some great flowering thing.
And just as it one day sprung into the world,
As if to be an omen or something more profound-
nothing. Nothing happened.

One darkening evening as the lighness faded,
there was a spattering of moisture in the air-
and a bird chanced to land under the unfamiliar thing.
It rained all the night. The bird felt a calm-
wrapped in its wing’s feathers.
This umbrealla. Hoooo!
Hoooo-hoooowl.
What a magnificent moment,
and in the morning a rainbow appeared
through the wet filament and the birds eyes bulged.
Gordon Bennett! This New-Squark!
Great Scott, truly. Never.

This news spread down the grape vine.
And they passed on messages by banana phone,
wireless, but no significant thing.
This was old stuff to the birds.
But umbrellas, or as they called them:
“Umbrelly, or wew-wews”
They could make their wet nights,
well… less wet. More comfortable they suspected.
They suspected a 9 percent rise in comfort.
There was a vote, and cordially it was decided.
They wouldn’t suckle upon the violet buds.
Birds waited. Oh yes, they can wait.
We’ve all seem them wait.
Some thing they’re still waiting.

The time came, and so did the buds.
they grew slowly, and in the night some were pecked.
Noxious scents of sweet torments were drempt-
the dreams of the birds,
oh the birds. Their dreams were filled.
Voluptuous growths the sprouts became-
though time had noticeably taken to slowing.
In the night one of the birds vanished.
And their flying on formation was peculiar for many days,
adjusting to their lost control over streamline,
dynamic flying that made them native to freedom.
Days flew by after that in the night also.
One bud peeled early revealing a white umbrella,
which was unexpected, strange and welcome to the birds.
The measured its size and expected it to be a likeness to its forefather.
If all the buds were to blossom, there would be shelter for each of the birds.
This was music to the birds tiny ear holes.
Their minds raced with small and simple thoughts.
This was grande, what a fruitful and happy time to be alive.
Julius the fallen, was forgotten in their aggrevated:
raptures of elation, excitement and expectation.
Would all the umbrellas be white with wooden handles?
Bets were mad. Hoots and howls.
The twits rang out, and seemed to echo through eternity.
Patience was thin the following day-
nights were restless. The birds shivered,
feathers rattling and tails rippling.
A cold set in, as if they were flying.
There was no mysterious breeze.

The next day, the umbrellas has all popped.
One full branch, laden to sagging with umbrellas.
Striking a fine slash of colour into the sky.
Colours of unimaginable splendour popped.
Blowing in now warm wind that gusted gently.
And the birds minds were wrapped.
Captivated to be transfixed.
And they all told tales, great tales.
Of snakes, colourful snakes that mesmorised.
And the void that devoured all things.
The image that stole their minds.
Every other branch forgotten.
Their wings forgotten.
There was a ballot, of preference.
Each bird chose an umbrella.
No flying near their new shelter. No, no.
Not at all, definitely not.
Waddling along awkwardly,
hilariously for each, watching their neighbour.
Waggling their short feathery rails,
gripping with scaled and talloned feet.
Laughing and chirruping-
A mockery of song, for the day had finally come.
Nobody wondered for Julius,
infact nobody thought to continue the search.
It had only been a day and a night.
But long enough.
Not much of anything was thought.
They had simple, small minds after all.

The bananas were cast aside.
They all lived locally.
So close by, it was wonderful.
They would all rise together, as they always had, and sing.
Sing a song of the joys of life.
How luxury had just appeared one day.
How lucky they were.
They were the best of times;
some birds still flew to get sunshine,
for a lot of the umbrellas limited their exposure.
The original umbrella was forgotten,
its rainbow, on a wet illuminated day-
all but ignored.
The birds were a comfortable race,
that needed very little and were happy.

More umbrella pods grew,
some were feasted upon others went on to grow.
And the birds were able to move to colours sizes and translucencies that reflected them more on an inner spiritual level.
The time of plenty was upon them.
Choices, options and the sweetness of the fruits intoxicated.
They birds would waddle-
laughing gaily at their laze that had set in from not flying.
Their lots camraderie through the distance of umbrellas, reaching far and wide,
their discarded green banana phone technology and their wings’ feathers.
All unnecessary ideas.
The fruits became the norm.
The birds tastes had evolved.
And the Tree continued to grow.
The umbrellas grew towards a zenith,
and the greenery soon caught up and intermingled.
And in that mingling, the birds became serperated from eachother,
and the illumination of natural light.
They grew enshrouded in darkness-
and the dark grew all about them.
And they never slept.
Fore they had no idea of the time.

Where they had once laughed at their wobbling bodies,
waddling up branches. They were humbled, and afeared.
They knew nothing else than their umbrellas.
Their feathers had lost their lustre,
where first there was a fear of flying without Julius-
There was now a widespread fear of all things.
The umbrellas, gave them comfort however;
always mesmerizing in their radiant colour that seemed to glow.
The birds eyes grew accustomed to the dark.
Large bulbous things, twice the size of their heads, and for that they had two of them; making them slouch down and look beneath them.
Finally their feathered wings became bare.
Lustreless, sickly white feathers fell in the stillness.
Each feather glowed, and was mourned for.
The birds skin was pale and dry.
Red capillaries and veins of purple pulsed underneath pockered skin.
The birds in their severed contact sung a low harrowing song.
Not vigor or wistful whistle.
Brightness had abandoned the birds,
and with the lost spark of illumination faded their spirits.

They were all conscious of their bodies,
they sat their shivvering or waddling small distances.
Too self aware, paralysed from their congregation,
hyper aware, their eyes became their only sense.
They were frozen from skin to soul.
Puckered and pathetic.
Some birds connected through a mental connection they thought-
thinking that perhaps some birds had continued to follow the rainbow umbrellas.
And this brought some solace.
Whenever a thought like this occured,
a nearly featherless bird,
would tap his brush like-
feathery tail on the perch and waddle a few paces,
squinting up with a tremendous effort.
The bulbs of their eyes eventually dragging their vision back down to their pallid and scaled clutches.

This was ongoing for a time.
Repetitious lives were always wont to happen,
the birds knew shapes and size.
Mathematics was a gift to all birds.
And so they were, caught in such a circle;
they understood.
And oh my, in this time they changed.
Not for better or for worse-
the birds didn’t think in these terms.
Its the nature of all thing.
This they had learnt from the many branches of they tree that they’d explored in days and nights gone by. Oh my, yes.
they had seen a good many things,
this was a respite, and time to cogitate on all things comprehendable.
And the perspective was dazzling in the glow of the umbrellas.
Frightfully so, in the silent song that was
a highpitched tingling felt only by pimpled skin and twitching senses.
Grains and fibres of being. Nerves of some otherwordly substance-
did the birds possess. On no scale invented.
Not frozen pumpkin.
Not pucks of ice hockey.
Only the wood of the tree was hard.
And this was what the birds had felt to have in common with the natural tree.
Of which they shared, this one substance. Unnamed and unknown.
Only seen, oh yes, my. It was seen.
Those sweltering eyes.
Sweating necks. Tears ran like…

Like, it was.
And it was indeed raining.
Some that had the strength looked up and saw.
Others looked up, but their necks; like broken or unused cranks-
moth eaten rope, snapped.
And with the snap they fell.
Fell into the abyss.
The tears. The tears continued to run.
but perhaps they were of joy now, for this colour.
even in darkness, this was the brightest most beautiful turn.
More elegent, and joyous in its turn than a well executed aerial swoop.
They gorged their eyes for as long as they could.
Revelation! illumination in lightness.
Some of the birds squarked.
And many more fell from their perch.
The moment was a cacaphony to their earholes.
Striking change had been broken,
the lugubrious task of waiting. Joy, how had the rain got through?
How had the green receeded?
great circles, they knew.
but the magic of the unknown was always to remain in some of its many senses.
Beyond the comprehension of the crying birds, as the rain came down and they scratched their claws, and rubbed together their frail and pathetic fleshy little arms. They were blissfully happy, though they couldn’t show it on their dreary and strangely dull faces.
Oh and they cried.
Oh my, they continued to cry for the night.
and when they closed their eyes, finally from their exhaustion.
Unrelenting emotion taking toll.
The minds spinning whirl,
The birds minds raced, and then came crashing to silence.

Sleep engulfed them.
Peace overflowed.
And in their silent rest they dreamed.
Oh and they dreamed and drempt new words,
and dreamt songs to express their startled emotion.
They could see now. In their tiny skulls,
resting behind their closed eyes, they saw more and thought more than ever before they allowed themselves. Flying, jumping, dancing or waddling, they had never explored like this.
Incomparable.
Only their flood of tears, the downpour explained it.
And that was because of the history of the birds,
as they comprehended it. They knew nothing like this had happened in their collective memory. They discussed it at great length while they slept- they thought.
And this only scratched the surface.
That surface.

They awoke, oh yes.
Oh my, that’s right.
they awoke, to the colour.
Oscillating, bright and blinding.
Cry shock, mortified blinding brilliance.
Squarks made them rouse.
The grumbled, and gutteral dusty lungs of the unspoken.
Dust and age-old laze broke free from beaks.
soon they’d regained their senses, and more.
Though unfeathered, still.
they waddled, invigorated and sung.
The rainbow was permanent. It resonated into their souls.
it charmed and mesmorised.
Some were hypnotized and unable to sing, or communicate.
just stuck, looking up. Unknown strength, bliss in the fresh breathing.
Bliss of beauty. Benign and bright colours intermingling in an unfathomable array.

The greenery around them had receded.
Receded far.
Quite expansive in actual fact.
And the facts shone, as some of the bird realized curiously.
And where once there had been sky, which became branches and their entrapment-
Now was branches. Filled. Filled with the buds of the umbrella.
The time of plenty was back upon them.
Beaks sang while their eyes smiled comprehendingly.
Oh yes, comprehending race that they were.
Geometry, The Nature, Affects and Special Effects.
Cry almighty. Wish for such, as to be as it was.

That is, as it was thought.

The buds blossomed, quickly.
Thought the time was perhaps the same.
It wasn’t percieved so,
and the birds knew. Elation changed perception.
and that was a frightening word,
birds were never wont for using that word.

this is because “outside”, was larger than their “inside”. Bigger than their wings,
larger than their bulging eyes. and they occupied a mid-ground in exploring these two things.

The birds meditated the next night,
waiting and thinking, seeing what could next hap.

As I said, the tree’s, greenery had retreated beneath them now.
Seemingly far beneath them.
And it was a great fear that struck the birds the very next morning as they awoke.
Not for vertigo, for their historic mind was still memorably accustomed.
no, not heights. Although maybe it was.
There was no singing-
understandably they felt exposed.
But perhaps there lay something deeper,
something they hadn’t thought immediately, but was sunk in its recognition.
Their naked bodies were withered, but refreshed from their emotions.
The healing quality of heightened emotions was understood only recently, and some birds were dubious to this ideas, for the cynical nature of the bird was what had made it so successful. They were a patient conglomerate, a great parliament of people. Equal in their expression of self. For what one lacked another made up for.
This was another gift of their comprehension of mathematics.
The secret formula of percentage was said to be a play of words.
From a bird that sought refuge upon a giant boat, carved of the tree, that fell.
He has a great plumage, of black and white and helped put wind in the sails of the vessel before it plummeted. He was great, but surely he lacked.
In the digress was the fathomable thought that all things are equal, and how they express themselves in their physical state, reveals their mental state.
Though basic, there was a far greater form of the idea present in one wing of the tree’s seals branches.

And so the tree had died off.
Withered, and bent.
Like the shriveled and now drooping skin of the birds.
the tree had spent itself.
Some thought this had come from the umbrellas.
The natural order was disrupted.
The Tree had moderated its own growth perhaps.
The birds, that were not of the tree had suffered.
but only as much as the Tree had.
all things equal.

But indeed, were they?
Was this a measurable thing?

And the tree continued to fade into brownness,
and all around them umbrellas sprouted.
the birds waddled with inefficiency.
Trying to control their sprouting.
hoping for the rain to still find a path,
to fall through and nourish the land.
They worked,

Not tirelessly, they aren’t the heroes of this story.
I must admit this now before its too late. I won’t say I’m sorry either.
All I will admit is that under this umbrella I needn’t make excuses or explain more that I deem necessary. I hope you are following, there is a point to all this. Please friend. Go-on. Go. Yes, oh my yes, go. Go.

And so like one that has fallen in love,
the birds had fallen.
And yet some had not.
Not fallen so much, no.
Not literally. Like literally, that throw away emphasis.
You understand adverbs, so did birds.
They would hoot and howl to no end sometimes.
Especially in the mornings.
they were shameless, I told you all about their waiting,
their feasting gluttony and waddling.
Disgustingly unnatural.
Only resembling nature in the mush pairs I mentioned.
Oh yes, oh my.
Two of them, rubbing and mushing together as they waddled.
Sure, a time of plenty, but when will there be put boundaries-
on the unnatural.

This the birds, surely didn’t comprehend.
For it falls not in the cycle of geometry.
No it falls in a much larger hole.
Six times larger.
And its depth was that of ten.
For that was the depth the birds had dropped dates.
And the dates took 10.
A perfect 10, to make a noise.
And the noise they made sense of.
From that they drew all things,
Geometry, maths, luck and, ideals of perfection.
All the most atletic birds had ten tiny feathers.

I don’t really know all this,
but I assume, I overheard this on an open banana frequency.
-You should never trust those things.
But what a story, the added dynamism of the 10th feather.
That really tickled me.
Captured me, I believe it anyway.
Square on and fully, you understand.

So the tree died.
It withered and fell into the abyss.
The top branches came crashing down.
The infinite strength that bloomed outwards from the trunk was starved of the umbrellas that had grown of its own womb.
This was a sick unjust occurance for the birds.
They who cried that day also, but not with the aid of the rain.
That occurance had been removed.
indeed buffered against and blocked out completely.
Time struck like an unhealthy gong the day everything crashed to finality.
And the birds, still bare of skin, terminally morbid despite their best efforts;
they took the fall as they did all things by that stage-
Wide eyed.

And I suppose it would have been impossible to read.
Those poor, freckled, feckless faces.
Tragic turmoil bubbling in their veins.
What a storm must have reigned.
Above, Below and Within.

All of this I have translated from the leaf that I found.
I found it blown into my path this Autumn gone.
It took time and effort in translating, and so many bits are still without comprehension on my own side.
Like when they are confused, their words and hoots and shouts for confusion is confusion, but not as we know it.
Their writing was tiny and written down the stem of a leaf.
Tiny. I mean TINY.
Smaller than the smallest thing.
So I wonder if it was written before or after?
I like to think it was written afterwards.
Because that way something happened to them, and again they changed.
Surely they would have had to have grown,
by surety! Imagine the advancements possible to such a meet and patient people.
But they wrote it. Plain as anyone’s anything. Just there, written down the strand.
Down the bit, the bit that holds it ALL together.
Its a miracle, and i’m only just a smidgin into it.
There is more. so much more.
What they achieved!
Despite themselved you know- it has me captivated.
I’m both excited and motivated.
I can’t make anything up, I have to know it.
And everything is proofed 7 times.
Its a miracle form halfway. That makes the hairs from my head stand up-on my back.
David Goliath Burnham in all his breakfast clubs ability.

One thing that REALLY drives me on though, what happened to the birds.
They like, literally wrote this. So where are they now?
are they among us?

Oh my, oh yes, god that would make me sing.

Person 2: Oh yeah… “Among us” indeed. He laughed. “Haha, gods” Eyes wide, uncrying.