Who here inthe front row doesn’t remember my name.
Thats ok.
First in best dressed.
All of you… Are… Asleep.

That’s ok, you. I’ll buy you a drink after the gig and we can do introductions.
I just want to welcome you guys… To this space.
Where nobody really know’s anybody.
I mean, you guys probably know someone, but you certainly don’t know me.
Even if you didn’t put up your hand and you remember my name. Well done.
Welcome. To this space anyway;
My name is Patrick.
We’re here to laugh, judge, and hopefully have some fun.

So; who irons their underpants? Noone.
Who folds them… Ahhh some of you. Great.
Who walks while texting?
Yes… Good. I see some cross-over,
Some people doing both.
Ummm… So WHY?!
You WASTE-time, folding your underpants,
Then you SAVE-time; (brackets!: asking for death and destruction, oncomming traffic and shit)

So what is that? “Chaos theory”. You’re welcome. That’d be a four years of HECS-debt.

I always thought it was HEX. (Turn you into a frog, taboo, curses yeah, vodoo and shit) Until i went back for another 4 years and did english literature. And then I knew it was just that.
Put a HECS ON YOU!
Fuck that. Which is scarier you know.

by texting mum, seeing if she’ll be cooking something vegan for dinner tonight or are you going to have to buy your own dust, water and lemon-rind curry.

I looked at the world the other day,
ON A MAP.
Does it matter if the map is big or small?
NO. (Idiots in the front row)
Nonsensicle heckles.

But the map right (it was a big map) well biggish.
I’ve seen bigger. We all have, i mean… The internet.
Redtube.

So i looked at the world!
And i really have to become a nomad.
Travel the world. But only see the good bits, right?
Because the shit bits… Well; i may as well be working full time,
Doing a desk job thing, having sex with work collegues on the weekend,
Dealing with their issues 9-5.
Wear a tie.
Have a coffee for breakfast,
Worry about my weight,
My birthday party next month,
My cat (fuck.. did i feed my cat)
What am I saving for again? A house.
Snotty kids?

Isn’t it weird that we’re all here.
Like. Who here wants to have kids.
That’s great! One for you, one for your partner and one for Australia.
“Overpopulation, coming soon”
Unless we all die of… Well everything.
Because surely it’ll all happen at once.
Ice age. Global warming. Famine. Drought. Aliens. Hunger. Homelessness.
Some of you came here for waxxy sort philosophical solutions.
3…4 words.
MARS & Richard Branson.

The more I look at him, the more he resembles a rattle-snake-man.

Like maybe the dinosaurs didn’t die out… They evolved and went to mars.
Far out, this is some waxxy shit isn’t it. Philosophy done wrong.
You’re welcome.

So maybe this alien Branson is the key.
I read one of his books,
He said at the end of one of them that he’s dyslexic.
Just leaving me there like “what…the fuck,.. Did I just read)?

Next Month is coming up.

I forget what I’m doing.
Scarves? Paint my nails? Though ideas.

Need to read Emma,
Practice my driving.

Ripped mums painting today, because she’s being off.

Meant to hang out with Maddie but I got tired.

Had a heavy yoga session today. Full on I say!
Rode around lots, had a horrible tea at sash.
Caught up with Jan. That was a good time.
Scholarships on the horizon for me, just gotta remain focussed.

Sol’s birthday tomorrow which is exciting; need to get amped.
I feel we’ve forgotten how to have fun.
Workin’ on it.

I missed Le Tour!
Watched some cricket tonight with dad.
Tomorrow, work, study, yoga, party.

I had a moment today.
I narrowly avoided asking a stupid question.
I feel this happens more than it should for me.
“Get it”.

The search continues balance in life.
Find a Girl
Fitness
Positive mind
Schooling success
Money saved
Family life
Friends
And many other things!

Albatross, “Bird-en” around your neck.

Teaching Edward French on Tuesdays.
Reading a shash book “Emma” by Jane Austen.
Work is going well,
Sport is ok.
Diet is up and down.
Mum is a bit higgeldy piggeldy.
Dad and I had a funny argument. No fear!
I miss my brother,
I need to organise my birthday.

Well that was a regretful watch.

My family collects couches.

These people are in a rut.

I am drab.

Might I seek inspiration.

Work, Uni, Work.

Driving practice.

It all seems so difficult.

STAND TALL:

Thoughts, Feelings, Actions.

Change.

I, Cracked.
Rocking myself
Lurid thoughts

Tears in headlights
Sick with Grief
I, altogether wretched.

Shred by shred.
Seeking, wishing, away
Relief elsewhere but-
here. Hot faced.

Jaws locked, clenching
like a child
Teething; for people.
People I know.
and don’t. Can’t,
and won’t communicate.
A chill, exterior.

To my fiery
Outcry
For no one in particular but me and my.
Faith in us, man. Hangs itself on;
my long, bounded and knotted list of questions.
Why All This?

I, tears cry.
Feeling rank afterward
Time hath past
Since, I was last undamned
Damn them, dam mine eyes.
In hell, let them boil.
Leaving nought but the dark,
Black Pitts. That in my heart
I have, and will again.
Barren.
Now dry, sickly.
Sticky, crusted aftermath
of my distress,
and in-consolation I pity,
“Never again”
This is the cruel mind’s jest.
Play me an’er tune.

Reminder of old times.
Huh, I could do much better.
Weird. Do you really settle down? Or just settle, for a downer.
Are people that different?
“We’re so alike”
I roll my eyes.
“You’re jealous”
I am a jealous person, but at this point in time… no you’re wrong.
I guess you gotta make aleviences. Which isn’t a word.
I need to work that out.

Tonight I got to treat myself.
I don’t know why,
I really can’t wrap my head around why I deserved a treat.
I need to get overseas.
I need to become a better barista.
I need bar practice,
Coffee practice, next wave skills.
A group.
Money.
Adventure.

Touch your nose.
I’m thinking of a number, either 2 or 1.
Guess.
(…) Nope
“you’re lying”
Nope.
3 claps.
Clasp 1 of your 5 fingers.
If the person guesses correct they get a point.
These are the skeleton outlines of the new game I have invented; that is superior to scissors paper rock.
You’re welcome.
My sister and I are spur of the moment game-smiths.
And it is here that we excel.

Method of operation.
Cut your teeth on that.

Tears.
Communication.
“Faith in Humanity Restored”. – where is that from?

I feel like i’m floundering. I’m in my 20’s.
I need knowledge.

I just want to be a bard.
Sing, dance!
Eat, Drink and be Merry.
Pensive.
Scholarly.
Wise and: a Help.

I grow weary,
I grow fat, tiresome
Repulsive.
Stagnant, stale and unmotivated.
A jaundice, clone.
Scared, content and filled with air.

BAH!

That’s my lot in life.
LOT
LOTS
A LOT. Full plate,
Bitten off more than I can chew.
My life span.
Spanning more than your eyes can see.
Even if your eyes are too big for your head.
My history, my past, current and future.
What I say now,
At that instant is because of my past.
This culmination.
My body is living proof.
The human body is a memory,
Living.
Moving, Breathing.
Is it difficult? How fares your memory?
Each muscle worked,
Each scar,
The condition of your vital organs.
Do you smoke?
Did you take drugs?
Spend time in the sun.

Who did you spend your time with?
Who did you share your memory with.
WHO!

In your youth did you work hard?
To what did you spend your earning?
Were you intelligent?
Did you plan your future?
Is our singular goal comfort?
Can we be comfortable without the feeling of UN-comfort?
Where are the people most important in your life?
Is your future in sync with the future of others?

Spoken words are echoed thoughts.
I feel I have the skill to break this idea.
I can tirade. Thoughtless, not noiseless.

The bard,
The Fool
The jester,
The joker,

Peg everyone.
Earthly, mortal.
Laughter.
Mouth open.

Sick.
Weak
Skipping, fun.
Drained.

I am a drain,
Weak and vain
Mush is my brain
I rest my plain
My day a stain
With little to gain
Eat, rest, again
A life insane
The winding lane.
Future’s quiz remain.
Poignant I am slain.

Study, plans, I fright.