Porn thought

Odd, unseemly thought tonight from yoga. 

She took a lover every night. 

Short strands of loose curls, made up her hair. They fell about her, only the sides were long enough to touch her ears- oiled and dyed, black and yellow.

She took a lover every night. Most did not perform, these were executed. Some immediate others later, even after the act. It was known by most, I not all. And the competition lay like some strange thing over society. Insatiable. A ruling passion of reckless resolve. Throats were sometimes cut. Blood spilling over the maiden. She was demonstrative in her love- infinite in her conquests. The times reflected a time of peace, gossip and gluttony. 

Restraint was never shown, rumours stated that some deaths were pre-planned. Lovers, princes, women and men, sometimes boys as young as twelve were taken. Force sometimes but suspects were usually volunteered. A gold crown said to have been placed into the hand of each surviving conquest. 

Sheets of red silk, white ribbon. The centrality of the kingdom to trade made richness easy to come. By and by the nights rolled. Moans mingled in the night air. Brothels worked their magic in the lustre of each night. Red lights, fertility embraced and possessed. The coming of age of women made the mad queens lust no less frantic. Her garden was well tended in the days by the most qualified – hailing from worlds away. Seeking the hierarchical differentiation of status. A

Moment in time; blessed and blissfully simple. Embroiled in the possessive passions, the courts were numb from the over stimulation. A glory life of lewd evening gore.

Minted, minted men were strangled, whipped, asphyxiated and killed. No

More mentionable than at the hands of the city’s serpent queen. Her divinity, regal bones, gait and gaunt reductionisms made for direct deconstruction of politics. Life and death were here, yolked there in her vey halls. The brilliant chaos in her hungry eyes. Shrewdness to the utmost. Perception to the uncanny and desire of boundless

Limitations. All of this- until on night she took a man as mad as she.

Mindless or not they could not tell- not on of her guards. Personal degradation for both were taken into the limelight when he made her scream that night. Ringing out- a shrill beg. A bell of shrill bedlam erupted out. The double doors blew in, handles ringing on the stone walls. One two. Standing there; pikes in hand. She called for his death they could only assume, but no, not possible. He, he was behind her. In her. Hair held, blade in the same hand, wrapped tight. 

His left grasped onto her like a hinge. Blood from both points. The boggled eyes looked

On. Chain mail clinked occasionally. Stunned moments passed. His locks fell to her shoulders. Her ragged breath making her language unavailable. And he, he was apart of her. All the time. Destructive, mutilating confidence. Blood pooled at her right knee. Fine dropplets ran down her things. Spread eagled and upright, façade broken while he, he only Looked On. Eyeing a challenge for movement. Stiff, but still. Erect, he was mostly invisible. Plunged into her at all point. A perfect contact. One eye was visible over her shoulder.

His frame- still and tense. 

And he waited. 

They all did, his breath came slow and Warm on the back of her neck, trapped in the rise over her sloping shoulder. Her breath was sharp, no movement.

The guards held their breath and exhaled. 

The queen

Moaned into doorway. His steeled frame, his resilience and closeness made the room brilliant. Dark eyes, wishfully blue pierced into the room. A state of distance, eternally threatened any movement. The exhale of one guard prompted others. One guard lowered his spear and cleared his throat, only to sound like a squashed toad. A rasp sounded from either the queen or the assailant. His fingers dug deeper now, into her waist and the razor edge bit a fine line across her neck. He drew deeper and the crowd relented… Blood had doubled in

It’s pool. Now running between her legs and transferring intimately between their lower link. 

There was no love lost between parties, silence was dragging on, a blade over all nerves but the half concealed man. 

Another breath, this time cool. The queen shuddered and whimpered. From chill, passion or pain they didn’t know. Nothing came from the lips of the onlookers. Transfixed, brilliant silence. A chain of confused and dangerous envy. Compromise and caution were thicker than the blood that pulsed from the woman’s wounds. A moment. Then rife elation crossed the queers eyes.

Lips smiling she drew in a

Composed breath, she shuddered. Cascading her hips back softly she smiled and he smoother her belly with his left hand. An moment, any jerk of movement there could be death. Life though, however strange prevailed the moment. The mans meeting points still had a finality that threatened all, yet they could only look on. Hypnotised and loathsome in their strange position. 

The convergence of men tired and swayed, and so to did the queer relent her passion for a moment of desperate wonder. Then her eyes widened and wandered down. Down her scented, lithe frame. Hair gently falling. A lemon drizzled pain in her neck, hips arched and tense. He, he was completely drawn into her. Pulsing with patient heartbeats. The slowest rhythm, subtle and yet enormously stimulating.

Their breathing had synchronised. His was a whispering promise of closeness, riddling death with life’s

one passion. Her neck’s blood had traversed her lilting frame. Down her sleek abdominals to mix. Her uncomfort was silenced by pleasure. Her numbness made erotic in their joining. His solid, tireless grip. The shaft of the blade unrelenting. Death and decisions seemed eternally far off.

“Isn’t it funny, it’s bizarre”.

CHEESE/LIFE.

Language, speak, jump, leap, “I just want to say cunt”.

Expertations:

She was a professor, from Rome
Whom all of the poets took home.
They’d knock down the door-
expecting for sure,
but left with books and a poem.

Boiled eggs.
Diet. Sleep. Yoga.
Irony. Kissing strangers.
Image image. Imagine.

Months and memories.

you’re so full on.
Seriously.
Its not my intention play love games with you.
I’m alone at the moment because its best for me.

I like that we have been close in the past and that we can be honest with one another but I don’t think our lives should intersect in that way.
We’re at completely different points and you’re there for a reason.
You’re overthinking everything again, a lot like me.
Don’t do it if you can help it.
Don’t come back;
it sucks and I am unwilling,
I am selfish.

Carbon Kicks
Walled spaces
Chucking sucks
Holding pieces.
Dirty tricks
Holding aces
Govern fucks
Apple District.
Fairness friend
Never end.

I explained to the guys. -scared I was-
As we drove back. -you drive me up the wall-
that coming away from your dinner party -I am shivering-
of bright, brilliant and beautiful people. -so much choice of freedom’s option-
It had me feeling that I was the most unwholesome of the lot.
Your group is of a very fine and refined league of which I appreciated and enjoyed in company and conviviality to the absolute. Thankyou again. -If that’s how its spelt-
To die for, the eternal dessert. Pie of time. Ends meet. -Shuddering-

Smell. Sick and sweet fragrance.

A jaunty day
A silent night
Jingles sway
Bell’s delight.
This holy morn-
Week ended whiles.
Feeling all forlorn,
Drifting people’s piles.
The collective noun’s
Gaggles of clowns.

A Matilda of sheep. – Thankyou Rowan.

Run run run. Sun sun sun.
Hon hon… honey.
Money money money.
2020. 2020. 2020.

Phwoah

I wore a pineapple t-shit out to speak.
Dinner was done and I returned home to mashed potato.
ending on sweets in something I heard once.
Sounded sophisticated. So I took tea with honey.
Calming, soothing, chamomile.
I war with the image.
Pineapples. An impossibility of them.
The entire situation. I am the plant in all of this.
A prick. wearing my lost loves like armour.
And the cheat. The cheat that calls my name –
kisses at me with smiling eyes.
Whored thoughts. Sore knees.
Poor morals and a captive audience.
I roll and lay and wish and hide.
My eyes, my truth. Beacons,
Lighthouses that flash past their target.
Brief as anything in this pimple popped life.

And I share. You broke my heart.
I was horrible. “Duncan this, Duncan that”.
Talk of your self. Talk of your own experience.
Stringing me out to dry.
The ineviability of the horrible conversation.
Ultimatums and freedom.
I just wanted company, closeness.
Not this, not this.

I met a publisher tonight. My tired mind.
The games we play. Always-
The lost love and shared time.
Glass can be mended.
Shattered I am INDEED.
Tired. Though not of games.
“Tramborine” and 10 things I hate about you.
She spoke to me of MONA.
She worked for BLACK INC.

The computer crashed I thought I lost it all…
All of that.
The rush of sharing it all, getting it all down.
The hollowness of words.
The lips, the soft shirt.
The buttons. Novelty buttons.
Old times and new and the promises.
The restriction we put on ourselves.
We are so careful. So fucking careful.
And I break it.
It’s all suppressed. And i’m not happy. Just busted up.
Eyes sagging, burping carrot slaw.
Slowly, garlic and the gum and the closeness overwhelms.
Whelms. Europe.
I need to run away.
Time to cool, to rest relax.

All this writing and the experience of dinner.
Dessert.
Gravity.
Weight.
Halves.
Languages.
Underpants.

Table and Cup.
Vonnegut.

Everything is temporary!
Tattoos (there’s a joke here)
My body aches.
Tears and the fear of your loneliness.
This privileged-
Spelling. And the spelt in the crust.
How do you spell that?
and how I felt after you left?

It all coming crashing down around me.
Edinburgh, the milk of trades.
This has tuned to nonsense. But we’ll roll on.
I don’t know what to do.
And the temptation is there. Biblical, annanas.
It’s who you know and the black shoes of ASOS.
Conversations around the campfire of walking over hot ashes.

Flighty home-alone.
Women. Terrify.limit
I myself Hiding.

And thats not enough. So vauge,
barely phased.
How the process works.
You’re smell is intoxicating.
I feel like i’m going to pass out.
Coming close to kissing you.
And the ability to forgive.
Do people ever change?

I know.
I knew.
You cheat and cheat.
And I check.
Check out.
Broken hearted again.
Friends.
So many smart, brilliant friends.
But alone I lay.
Grounded, lost in the barn.
hay and grass and bleeding water.
Neat as pins. And there are no cushions.
I hate you I hate you I hate you.
Pins insert into my temples.
and my blood remembers.
“parcels” are my gift.
You are my girl.

Beers in forklifts.
Time passing.
Relevance lost.
Time to think.
Intellectualized love.
Foils and flummoxing wants.
Touch and wrinkled nose.
an uppercut to you,
to your homestead.

People wouldn’t listen to me half as much if I was ugly.
and that terrifies me.

TIM TIM TIM!

A business mind

Mind your own. Look and look after. I am a socialite- for better or for worse. Standing around. Anxiously plugging the silence. Lugging, tugging, flight home, shrugging live like government. 

Meaning other thins lost in theme. The me. The I. 

Define: Altruism Socialite

“When people ask you a question what do you say” generally. Scripts, acknowledgement, special, ordinary, change. Formula and magics control over people that are quiet. Not my intention. Not mine! I need to rest, to layup lay down, sleep, plan study and organise. 

“Administrivia” – high fail rate.

Numbs the mind.

Find passion – motivate self.

Fixate and learn concepts.

No detail. Next week we’ll get into theoretical stuff.

The function of stupid.

Doctrine of precedent.

Nod nod nod.
Not 

How are you not, today.

I said not! 

Song: Need it . Band: half moon run. 19th of July 17:02

Saying and true meaning link arms. While for the second languages it’s a departure of accuracy, real-mess-ness, was, is, wrong, loss, suppression, desire to be in you. Like private property. The only true occupation is sex. Auctioned off self. Surrender yourself. Lust, carnal and warm. Navels rub. A bounce and cold heels touch the sides of mine. My legs flex as we squirm and I sit up. Impressed, grinning unnaturally. Smiling for the drug of it all. It’s all on the table. Feet cold but not for saying, warming hearts and a passion. Kiss me – need.

Kiss me – want. 2. Side. Standing, infectious smi

Fresh ingredients

Time scrapes at me. The weekends choices bubble under my skin and fold like elastic left

Out in the rain.

My fear of playing musical instruments- the sacrifice and sadness of blowing. 

The silence and fear and convention of caring. More than just the wind. 

Sharing and swallowing.

You are a guy, and I am a girl. 

The honesty of it all. Showered and shaved. To lip born of pimpled picked pain. groups yearning is stifled. 

Rocks through maidens Windows showers shards of broken glass. Crushed between pestle and

Mortar heart. Running running, blubbering boulders could coil. Colliding at my chin. Falling the my chest. Cold shivers and pins cut from my eyes and jam in my nose. My empty head and heavy heart race with the loss of human reasonableness. Farted fluster. Flushing gushing graces of my own immoral suit. Armoured sentimentalities. Flaking down. Shameless. Silent. Worried and unlearning. The best version of myself, and I’m still not right. 

Alight. White paper. Without being weighted down, fearful. Nonsense.

I just want you to be with. 

I haven’t got time for your fear, worry or shame. They are immaterialism – devoid and lacking. My confidence is born of practice. Time elopes me. Slithering and slanting. This hell of earthquakes makes hills of dimples and children of the banal. 

Riots strike at the cement foundations and I fall. Skull crushingx

To do. 

Watched Chocolat with J. Race. Sexual preference. Money. Acting.

Saying: tinkers cuss

Resting on your laurels

Walking around with a sledge

Sled, slid.

Put your best foot forward in the dark.

– a light in the darkness.

– two left feet. Right. I wrote it. But I left one left at home.

– you ain’t seen bad boys two?

Sehnsucht

we never have enough time.
To talk, to wait, to watch, to listen, to think or write.
I hope you are well my love;
So rich.
So pretty.

Super

Race you to a GPA of 7.

You won’t be superstitious if you understand how the world works. 

You can’t smell porn. Read, white & BLACK.

I had a dream about mum that I knew was false so everything turned weird. I also talked to dad about going to work early and planning a day. 1 title, two boxes, 1 rectangle, one tea break coupled with classical music. One lunch break.

Instead of worrying about people you should get to know them.
Don’t worry about breasts.

Fear not arse.

Just ask me.

It’s a matter of hap, of luck.

The gap in my teeth, the

‘Wear and where’ show my strife. 

My stride, difference. 

“The I” to identify.

Racism is extreme

Difference towards a negative.

Worn down, corrosive.

My heel is stripped.

Unhealable. Unsolved. Torments.

Worries and overthinking.

I.. I! Don’t have to be anywhere now. 

10th of July 2017. 17:07

A SONG W RO.

Hyper mega super

Hyper super mega

Hhh

HHm

HHs

Super mega hyper 

Super hyper mega

Sss

SSh

SSm

Mega super hyper

Mega hyper super

Mmm

MMs

MMh
Finish.

No dairy.

I wonder how sick he is, the end of the line ‘ends meet’ preventing suicide.

Instead of worrying about people you should get to know them.
Don’t worry about breasts.

Fear not arse.

Just ask me.

It’s a matter of hap, of luck.

The gap in my teeth, the

‘Wear and where’ show my strife. 

My stride, difference. 

“The I” to identify.

Racism is extreme

Difference towards a negative.

Worn down, corrosive.

My heel is stripped.

Unhealable. Unsolved. Torments.

Worries and overthinking.

I.. I! Don’t have to be anywhere now. 
Monday, Thursday, Wednesday Saturday (3 syllables buys you time) Sunday, Friday April – yellow