Getting to know someone from a distance.
Online dating. Shakespeare.
I dream that she comes back. Dad is a double. Short haired one and long haired other. He’s wrapping a book in blue paper, the sticky tape is jagged. Wendi asks if he needs help, he curtly responds “no.. thankyou”. I’m not sure which is the original. I think the long haired is old dad. The short haired is new dad.
Mum is by the sink, washing up a great many tools for stirring and scraping pots. I don’t really know/remember what she’d made. I’m overjoyed to see her but I don’t express this in action or word. She looks as me and tries to speak but her language is garbled, my heart leaps and she is all that I care about; smiling encouragingly and nodding. I say “its ok” and “sure, ofcourse”.
She hasn’t been able to tell me what she made. Her mind is gone, the language for what she is trying to say is gone. Simply gone.
The roof is leaking, the water is running along the flat of the roof like a gravity defying stream, down the wooden wall of the flat. I’m afraid that there will be a flood again. I remember that in the real world the drainage pipe from the gutters has been blocked for the last two big downpours. Its a real concern of mine at the time. Flooding. But then the weather dries and all concerns and the blockage remains.
Today I ate celery with peanutbutter and sultanas. “Ants on a log” Keone Dodd once told me. Its supposed to be one stalk at a time, pnb in the dip and sultanas dotten ontop. Neat and tidy. Considered. Instead I rolled all the stalks up in pnb, threw some sultanas at the mess and decided that the log was more lifelike and the ants were in disarray. Like when you place a brick infront of the runnings of the hive. The conga line of ants blew out, like a failed erruption of a volcano, blown out the bottom as the top remains the same.
Last night before bed, I heard a sound. Internal, between left and right brain. A high pitched singing snap. I had a headache, I beyond a usual switched on. I was uncomfortable and laying quietly in an angry state after an OK day with some people I know.