We make plans to kiss the sun at night
Hopeless dreamers, hopeless times
Shedding skin, you show your beauty scars
Don’t forget me or who you are
God dammit legs.
Sore. Wild, baked brain. Lost.
Rich in bank but not in soul.
This creature under a microscope already feels the pull.
Stretch. I am free not though. I should be able to hold it down.
Finished work at 11.30.
Talked to centrelink.
Rode to Coles.
Lady talked to me. I pretended to not speak english.
Ate 3 bananas, a pear, and some nuts.
Should be ok until 5 – dinner.
Hmmm, perhaps not. This it a tough call. I should put my feet up.
I feel obligated to write this.
*puts book away*
I don’t know. Let me bounce some thoughts off you.
I’m experiencing a weird headspace at the moment. Overtired I think.
Megan pesters me. Wants and needs me.
I feel irate. Irrational. Uncomfortable.
Annoyed sometime. I think I sound hungry. Don’t I. Hahhaah
Too many text messages. Nothing exciting.
Yeah I must be hungry.
She wants me to go with her to Hawaii on my way to Canada.
Dad said he’d go half and half with me for my flight.
I’m sure he’d do that for me. Hawaii is cheap as well.
But the slow death. The PLAN, with Megan. The test, to stay together.
I don’t like that. I don’t like it at all.
Not one bit.
Nope bad idea. I should fly to Vancouver.
Organise myself. School, language, new, alone.
soul and sole.
Sole of my feet. On grass. Earth. Back on solid ground.
Stars, the distance between us and them.
Doing, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
Tonight? I’m drinking alcohol? Why?
“Because I’m doing”
Not wasting time. Not thinking. Not stopping.
Challenging. going somewhere.
The sad thing(s). If you ask me where i’m going its the space between the stars and your eyes.
If you don’t look up you don’t see.
If you don’t perceive, you don’t know.
Without first seeing the stars, how you could possibly guess at my journey?
What i’m doing? I’m energy.
I am a beam. I am action. I am doing. I am going.
But nothing, not so strong. Radiant, energised as to be a star.
If I tried, i’d probably have an aneurysm.
What a strange spelling.
“the brain, a god detector”
It was so busy, there’s chocolate on the bell!
I sold the bell!
I thought it was a chocolate éclair!
The jokes never cease.
The energy comes off me in waves.
Sometimes I find myself in a passive stretch.
Stagnant, Welling around the sides.
A nook. A niche. The water spins and settles.
I thought I was the lake. I was late in realising I was the stone.
Being pushed alone, slowly smoothing, moulding.
But this river, it will dry up.
And when it does, I will be there.
Perfectly smooth, honed, waiting for a dinosaur to eat me or a child to throw me.
I will outlast the stream.
What is this music?
Marimba meets dragon ball-z?