I think the idea of the the day has to go to my negging of “doing your best” and using final fantasy X to justify it.
What’s our goal? “TO DO OUR BEST”. No, no, no. “TO WIN”.
At all costs. Because that’s the goal. That’s the aim.
And if you are aware of the continuation of the moment, and how un-sustainable the moment is if you do said “best”. What about every moment before that. Has it contributed to that moment? Or is it alone in its self as an idea.
You are fuming! Disgusting, littering, blonde, sloppy lipped mong of a man. Waste!
And you Sam, strange stuttering, unwelcome, antisocail, pinger scoffing stranger.
-nice watch, and plain maroon jumper.
Keep running up that hill.
Today- free store, shopping. My wondering if I am wholly a reaction to my environment and when moments occur that I have control.
In sport? When you amaze yourself doing something purely in the moment or thoughtful? Or is that the definition of mindless. How you are in tune with the movement of another person. You see shapes and ideas blurringly assess them. That’s why sometimes you fail to relate. Piano take it away.
Driving a car, reaction learnt. Its a skill.
Self defense, falling. More to learn. Unnatural- maybe.
Words that say “I think”
“maybe” “Perhaps” “I’m not sure”.
Muted. Song to say goodbye indeed.
I met the owner of a brilliant little cafe today.
His name is Gabriel, like the main character in Joyce’s “The Dead”.
Cafe Qui Pense. I thought how funny it is, that i’m Australian and like coffee certain way and drink my coffee “A long black, please”, is the one drink that isn’t a normal translated order here. An Americano, no, no, a mistake. A lot of it. Would be a better order.
I wrote some other stuff today, in amongst study and setting alarms.
Each mind is an opal
Gift a cursed hap.
Mine many rough as coal.
Dry stones of soul-
Sets and sits untapped.
Hexagon on natural form
From wet heat, day’s night.
Shamanistic starry norm.
Medicines curing blight.
Should this ring right-
Wrong, or some-kind-other
Cured ailment of a mother.
Hanging red gloves, above the door.
Dripping sacred, holly blood.
Fogged pane-glass, snow wet floor.
Blotch on coat, think nothing more.
Until home is made,
Jams and marmalade,
Sweet the bitter.
Trusted baby sitter.
A flooded house.
Porch without chair.
Tricker treats without-
Pumpkin or fare.
And then we look upon the kitchen afresh and what did we find?
The UNDISCOVERED CUPBOARD.
And the spelling to be beyond me, for a few good tries, for wont of help, google and advice.
Why is there a T in the word Influential.
Listened to Rhys’ album. Mr Milo, such talent. Wonderful friends.
Associates. Amaze. Good grief, gold, and quality and wonder assured.
Children for parents are the friends you do not have.
I keep trying to make my own ripped jeans, and keep ending up just wearing shorts.
Never got my scissors licence.
Pens are beyond me too.
There’s not much I’m good at.
Isn’t it a shame to think of all the people who have taken their talents and skills with them to the grave. Ahhh, the transfer of skills to others is crucial and we’re getting better at it. This I know. But there are so so many of us. And so many things to learn.
So many mistakes.
What are the lyrics to Femme Libere:
Terrible upon first gloss. More on that some other time.
I gotta read some other stuff first and brush. Yeah brush.
Soft godndamn TOOThBRUshEs. Get me down. What a strange invention.
Worked on a secret handshake with Thomas.
I said I was seeing a friend of a friend.
Book of Mormon.
The word “media” has many anagrams.
“Pat are you drinking wine” – no.
I’ve been at the gym, so i’m dehydrated.
Zeal without prudence is like a ship adrift.
I am, I will be yours.
Your Bipolar Lunatic.
The oscillation and interplay of thoughts.
At school you pay the teachers to listen to you and teach you-
Discipline. Not child care. Amuse and entertain you.
Enjoy the freedom.
“You don’t understand me”. And my day swing. Turned on a dime.
Nothing could go right from that point.
Other people in your life, affecting you negatively.
My armour is soft. My defenses breached so easily.
I am not steel. I am scared. Angry, un-learned. Wasteful.
But a deluded entertainer.
Angry at everyone that surrounds me.
The stage is never right, all, SO unwilling.
Be my set. Be amused. Listen, excite, feed me, give and give.
and shut up and ask and care and play and lets just play.
if only for a short while. Let me touch your hand and kiss your neck and ask deep questions. Explain to me things I know very little about. Give me your opinion. Free from judgement. Just share, lay it bare. Like a shucked oyster. Lear about yourself.
Smash yourself to pieces. Let me be your drug, we shall follow your mind until something goes wrong. Distracted. Sick.
Julliette put alarms on your iPad.
If you are going to prank, go to!
Follow through. I will allow it.
Gosh darn, blast and frig.
Placebo playlist has gone full circle.
Time to call it a night.