Today I will take some energy from the universe and store it inside myself.
I will run to 380.
Purchase coffee and postcards, maybe stamps too.
Then to the gym.
Upper body today.
la-dee-da-dee-dar.

Last night I was rendered morose because of the brilliance of others.
How are we supposed to compete or be seen to possess value?
Its tough stuff.

I have some pieces that need to be worked upon.
Need an inspired thoughfulness.

But I can’t put and “I” to the characters, a young and old woman.
My inflection, thoughts and reflection are shallow.
I am in darkness unlike what I believe they feel.
Maybe If I could adjust my mind to be just right, indeed;
quite so that of a woman.
To pretend. To coax myself into fully believing, to acting and falsifying to myself.
I don’t believe in what i’m doing. Thus I cannot actualize.
the ‘z’ in words kills me. Wise man. simple.

I wish I felt better.
Why must I be stuck in this middling.
Waiting for a precise moment.
Last night I snotted. The covered laughter out the nose with a cold.
It was horrible.
I sat in silence with all the things I wanted to say.
I laughed at myself and others and how they were in touch with the plant.
The world that they were a part of.
God of. Creation.
I watched each of my housemates faces in silent glee, each as they prepared and indulged in food.
The expressionlessness. A raised eyebrow. The spoon used for Jam.
It was all so bizarre.

I’ve lost some of my shine.
Time for a change I feel.
Somehow I’ve already lost
Chemistry is nothing but the melody.
The universe is the symphony.
What is then, the mind of god.
Harmony.
Vibration, movement and change.
Noise for survival.
Where everyone fits.

2nd hand books ahoy.

Kant. Can’t. cannot.
But I shall!

freeze-
WE ARE ALL THE SAME.
put your breakdown down.
Put it on ice.
Like it, and ingest it.
But slowly.
Fore we all get brain freezes.