Error over Tea

Early Grey.
English Breakfast.
Lemon & Ginger.

Watched the latest Sacha Baron Cohen film.
It was terrible.

But brought to light the question of valid existence for me.
How you perceive the usefuleness, the compatability and goodness of some people.
You can’t.
Morally, everyone is good.
There aren’t people that can be “put down”.

Terrorism is not O.K.
Capital punishment. Is not right.
This is because the value of human life cannot be quantified.
People are valuable.
Useful. Helpful and good.

Opportunistic- maybe?

How can we keep the population at a reasonable level?
Why is education so important, and why is there a correlation between education and lower reproduction rate?

What is the globes future?

The tragedy of death is found in its occurance before its percieved “time”.
If death is expected and welcomed there is no fear.
To embrace a more permanent stage.
The transition that is life.
The change. Passing on your genes is important, for excellence in the future.

You can only create a child.
Only create a good-child if you find yourself and choose to reproduce with someone willing, that has also found them-self.
The loving, supportive family creates a child with an unbroken, wholesome soul.
That soul may excel.

But like all beautiful and loved beings.
Do not squeeze, or possess tightly so to smother.
Never asphyxiate, or become claustrophobic.
Do not inhibit, hinder or harm.


Too much.
What is too much.
Too many “o”s.
Too many. Objective.
Too hard. Too much. Too many. Too late.

So the tragedy of death isn’t death.
It’s the impracticality of timing.
If you still had a big-long list of things to do and you died.
That’s horrible.
People fear that.
I fear, leaving the oven/ovan on. Ducking out to buy some yoghurt.
Boom, run over by a car.

I feel my death is coming soon.
I’ve been thinking about it a little.
I don’t know why.
I have these glossy moments, where I find small, useless moments quite beautiful.
Picturesque. Slow. Fantastic.
And I think. “This happens when you die”, “I wonder if that will be soon for me”.
Then it ends.
But it puts me in a strange mindset.
My mood shifts.

I nearly ran away today.
Mum was saying some strange stuff.
She’s going to die in one year: the doctors said.
Because of her bad liver.
That’s OK.
She’ll hopefully live longer than that.

I think I’ll quit my job in the next couple of days.
I have a lot on my plate.
Books to read.
Time to spend with mum.
I can’t be bothered with work.
It doesn’t add.
Time is more important to me at the moment.
And i’m blessed.
I’ll put my hand out if I have to.
Dad will look after me.
I won’t run away, like a coward.
I won’t be sad.
I will be proud and happy and positive.
I will move on, because that is what a son should do.
I have time for people.
Energy. Smiling.
Easy going.
To the point.
New experiences!
I will die doing what I love and that is completing the big long list of things that will never be complete.
This is my tragedy, this is my life.
I will take my time, I will smile and I will love.
In time people will make their mark.
Bad ideas and negativity, reality: both harsh and unhinged will play theirs parts and try to wear me down.
But I will fight, clown suit, make-up, smile and all for what I believe to be a beautiful, day-dream kind of life. Fleeting and financially coleslaw.


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