Situation:

When you say something to someone else over the phone about a person ‘not attending’ (but the person not attending is with you while you are on the phone).

I/You say ‘It’s only me that will be attending, such-and-such will not be attending, so you’ve got the diet coke version of the team, Team Lite, if you will’.

Obviously suggesting that I/you are less than the full compliment, however the second (accidental) interpretation is that; the other person is fat.

Thus I/you realise the dissonance of message – what I/you said and how it was may be received might be at odds. Alas we often communicate things that are understood in ways that were not originally intended.

Sadly, in this case we were too afraid to name the potential misunderstanding for fear of the the potential harm it might have caused. Because if I/you explained it – by implication we’re admitting to have spoken without thinking the full potential implications. Then, in ‘naming-up’ the different ways such things could be interpreted it shows that those things have a potential of being ACTUAL views, expressed by both parties (the reality of things). And so, it falls into the too-hard-basket. Good graces, and common courtesy meant that a silent slight registered. Meant or otherwise; it fell from our heads into our hearts. Pangs of worry and toxifying our mind and making us giddy. A bowling ball gleefully knocking down our fundamental principles of respect, care and dignity landing in a pool of deep-deep red.

Hope and good faith were afterthoughts. In honesty, I’m not sure this all made sense. Different readers will have their takeaway, for that there is no shame. We only ask for the benefit of the doubt. The guilty action, the innocent mind, I/you.

To the recent question: ‘Do you feel like an adult yet?’
The answer is probably ‘Yes. A sad, confusing adult’.