Untrustworthy

You my facet are not worthy.
I believe we are all raised with the strangely doctoral gaze.
We are all different in seeing – as batman does in a hallucinogenic spell.
Bound up with lostness, ungrounded.
I often find peope talking about what they mean.
And its binding. Its terrifying.
Like she was terrific in bed.
My halogen mystery, ebbing-
stomach starving. Hurting, wanting, wasting.
Lusting. After loveloss, the cost of ejecting.
My churning lost daze. Mindblow.
Free folding wants and the wasted energyless closeness of everything.
Eyes that tell of my own disgust. A peasant of common ailments.
Mailmen of forbade news and cold hearted hypocrisy.
After you left, I became the cord in a propeller.
Pulling, pushing, finished finishing.
Finding a hole, curling lack and loss.
Stanger to my own body.
Loaded charge dispelled,
wrists ankles and fingernails shiver spasmodically and relentlessness.
I catch my fear and crush it between my hands as an orange,
Sun rising profanities of the easy life.
Withal forgetfulness, the superglues of society come unstuck with my fulfillment of naturally shamed simplicity. A coupling of smiles, seriousness and nourishment all taking from me nothing and everything.
What does this do for me?
What is up form here? Next?
You possess and propose to me alternative lives that I have forgotten.
A fruit basket of opportunity.
Cheese dreams of a cracker.
The fig gesture in hand.
Clutching barely to one another.
Heated as a stone.
Baked and branded.
Nothing yet built.
Only possibilities.
Joy wilts, a majestic distance of desire, success and untasted flavours.
And the lost women to age and abandon put poison in the kennels.
Animals and loved ones drop as flys, poisoned by the air we breathe.
Clutching throats and itching eyes of cancerous iron.
Coy bias of marketing allows us to walk in the yellow wafting smokes.
Immune only from practiced experience. The kids home, pockered skin of octopus. Slime and pincer. Under the sea all is blurred, blue and plastic.
A black bag over our head. Or perhaps the pervasive darkness was always there.
Now we sit, like an accepting Buddah, wise to our demise.
Drawing a line in the underwater sand.
Clouds rising, a slow dust in the rolling depths.
Deep peace sets in and still we wonder at the words for mother earth that have always escaped us.
Rest in peace. Dance between lives.
Bury me under the willow tree-
as Drummond never was.
Summon my ghost and revoke the pasts tragedy.
Your absence, my lack, here now.
Forever tied to you. Grounded and loved.
Provider and continuer.
Elixer of my eternal salvation.
Dissolution in dust.
Rolling in the deep, deep depths of our hearts.
We love and have loved.
Dearly, desperately.
Pleadingly and pledging-
hope, peace a golden fleece.
Where old is new,
trees grow.
Passions keep us from the storm.
At home in our heart you remain:
cared for, young and resilient.

This is my
–testimony.

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