Darling

Oh darling its come again,
the decay of time.
four minutes of silence
and me running
into the wild
waving and kicking.

would you change for me?
as i vomit yesterday’s beans.
stomach expanding,
teeth sore
eyes sore
dry and squinting.
I can’t have ibuprofen-
“it makes me cum blood,”
I explain listlessly.

I had my teeth cleaned
so i’m not shy,
nor
afraid of smiling.

“would you change for me,”
I ask.
she says arks.
it drives me to insanity.
such quirks
revolt me with their unsettling sweetness.

“I like your short hair,” I said.
she looks at me, and
pulling a face
that isn’t quite
her own.
laughs. catching me off guard.
She touches herself and speaks of waters.
It makes me think pregnant thoughts,
and her acting confuses the subject.
the back of my throat catches,
salty with slime and phlegm.

“you’re my silippery rock,” she says.
“silippery?” i whisper.

“what?,” she said pulling another face, this time her own.
“nothing” I replied.
My jaw clenched tight,
my temple hummed.
I can’t take Advil, that’s ibuprofen and that makes my balls bleed.
She nods.
pushing at her lower back and smiling up at me.

What do you want to do this weekend-
what do you want to do?

I said I wanted to paint with chocolate,
write jokes,
invent words and their history,
coin private phrases
and garden.

Sober thoughts.
and Japanese dinner plans.
the soup of my mind.
the waters and
bones.
And i’ll wait for high-heels,
or ring of phones.

All I want from you is sex.
and after that, noting next.
this is a reflex.
our willowy necks.
forgotten ex.
polarized specks.
flecks.
pecks
rex.
arms.
farms.
animal.
corduroy.
flannagan
fidel.
ramble.
coin.
flip
apple
stomach.
pronunciation.
adverb
kittens.
pink
hair.
love lick split shove shaft raft swim.
slippery.
ROCK.

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