Loaded. Stiff.

Not sure if i’ve been over doing it.
I’ve been having toast for breakfast most mornings.
Yoga before that, and again in the afternoon. Just tried a “long, slow, deep” class last night. It was wonderful and felt authentic. Really quite enjoyable.
The new woman taking classes. “Kelly” I think she calls herself is a little bit too nasal. Chipper, and chummy. A fair dinkum chump. A touch too loud. Does not put me at ease. I don’t relax around her. I don’t rest.
Fare. Food. Fair. Nice. Okay. Deep.
ambiguous words!

Associatives in words.
Contraction – pregnancy.
Consenting – sex
Subtle gearing. Undertones and ripple.
Light shining on my face, eyes closed, lids red.

Negative Alternatives.
I’m sore but i’m not broken.
I’m stiff because i’m cold. I’ve been working, late nights.
Thinking of J and not G.

Your family could be gone; you the only one left.
You could have been born without a leg, or other limb of a kind.
Fallen from a cliff.
Been poisoned.
Not been born (a blessing)? – No. Not for tears, but for want of laughter and meaning.
You could have been brought up in a different time.
Oppressed even.
Malnourished.
You could have been caught stealing;
Had your hand remove.
Been impotent (be) – let’s hope.
Lived a shorter life.
Had a lover that died in your arms.
These, these other stories. Some may be true.
They may just have happened to you.
But if they have not, feel blessed.
And if, if they have: I, and many others like me are here for you.
You have experienced early.
Done what others have not, not yet or will never.
Store that. The thoughts, memories.
Not one thing you have done has been done before.
Temporally, physically, mentally. Unique in one’s tragedy.
In life. You are experienced. Own up to this.
You can, from this insight bless and help others, and in likeness they may help you.
I will listen, as will they.
To suggest and help where we can.
Open your mind to the possibilities and the happiness in your position.
Free yourself from torment.
Don’t punish yourself with suffering
and thoughts of deserving or undeserving.
Focus only on the one thing.
One.
Pretend you are sick.
Think of yourself with a lack of energy.
Now imagine you have only two breaths left to live.
Find peace.
Rest. Be slow to this comfort.
With each breath you find another the gives life. Where each is the last before your last.
Embrace the ritual. The magnitude and seriousness of your life.
Don’t furrow your brow or let air get caught in your long neck.
Rest in the slow elongated laneway to your lungs.
Treat them as one.
Ride your chests rising and falling.
Puff up as if to float, surfing a wave in, to the shore.
Find simple resolve in yourself.
Free from soreness.
your stiffness becomes liquid-
Join with your senses.
Find warmth, meander through your thoughts as they come.
To you. Break from anger.
Restrain nothing.
Seek what you want.
Allow what you have found, only you.
Yourself, not distraction.
A gift of breath, flesh and muscle.
Present.
Walk in your mind, move now- in joy.
Blissfully, say nothing. For that is your want and mine.
I am with you.
Smile and give only that.
Sit with your cognitions now.
Stare out, with gentle focus-
a bountiful aura of enjoyment. Can you?
Walk on-
and mind not the price of visiting upon yourself nourishment.
Water with herbs, or honey, milk or spice.
Walnuts.
Baguette and the oil of olive.
Figs and cheese.
Choose with cherubian glee.
Eat one something, you enjoy. But in small portion, make your body utilize each tiny fragments for sustenance.
Sip water patiently.
Guzzling is to rush through life’s needs and mistake one’s wants.
Count to a high number, as is your want
Laugh after eating.
Feel jolly and patient, recognising your impatientness-
maybe tired, itchy or unaccustomed to your surroundings.
breath into your surroundings. From your calm internal craft an external you wish to be at peace with.
Rock from side to side. A gentle sway.
Find a writing tool.
Draw circles until you are tired, or the tool runs dry.
Stretch up your arms.
Bend your back, back.
Forwards. Now rotate your chest.
blink strongly.
Feel the reverberations in your ears.
Smile.
Breathe in and make any sort of sound.
Lick your lips.
Swallow.
Smell
You are ready.

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