Away trip.

Giving up the home-ground advantage and travelling south for the weekend to visit Megan started with a long bus trip, some poor oversights and a bit of luck on my part. Getting across the border, talking to customs and immigration at the states was nearly a disaster as I didn’t have an address for where I was staying! eeeee-gads. So be forewarned. You always need to have a place to stay, when you’re border hopping. Cripes man, they made me sweat, made the bus wait for 45 minutes.
I had to force the crocodile tears I learnt how to manipulate in highschool.
Sweaty brow, submissive and thankful tone. It makes me sick to witness people react to me how they do. But diplomacy can’t always reign supreme, sometime you have to look the lamb and but it between your legs. So I got my way, across the border and on my way. Cheers America. “Its no big deal”

Visiting Megan from then on was pretty easy dice.
She picked me up in her car and we drove to hers.
It was her birthday and she was excited, I was happy to be off the bus, exhausted but very pleased to see her. After some traumatic driving and catching up- indeed lighthearted chatter we arrived at her home in Weathersfield. A quaint and quiet little city in “connecty-cut”.
Autumn was well and truly tumbling in. The leaves everywhere, pumpkins, apples and Halloween were in full swing.
Megan and I went straight to bed and recharged to the best of our ability then showered and dolled up for the night.
A family dinner.
I met her step father, mother and flamboyantly energetic younger brother.
The dinner was pleasant, I wore simple black and white clothes, feeling underdressed among to general populace of suburban coots. Megan’s brother shouted, he father was awkward, her mother friendly but looking concerned as she chopped her youngest child’s food.
The place we went was an asian occasion sorta place, some dickhead with an attitude set fire to food in front of us and did a strange to be basically deranged show of cooking our food. Capable of only a few words and talking like the prostitutes of Thailand tourist sex strips “Where you do”, “oh you like it like dat”.
It was jarring to think about as he juggled, squirted liquids across the room and all that jizz. Lady boy weird. But the show was something different, to the point of being unique. It can still be honed, perhaps never made classy or cultured, but new and neat. Its easier to critique than compliment sometimes. Sake was nice.
A tower of onions set on fire and the gargantuan meal were all highlights.

I talked to Meegz Uncle and Aunt, they were nice. Born and raised in the quiet towns and surrounds they were friendly but I sensed a resentment of some kind. Like somehow my airs of adventure, my approach was gauged and ultimately ajar, in reference to my being foreign. My spelling is off this evening. Terrible.

Dinner was wonderous, I was just tired I think. Maybe, who knows.
The meal was the first of many. Lots of eating in the USA. Lots of food, very rich, lots of meat and bread bread bread and frying and fries and fried this and that, enough to make me fat. I forget how fussy I am on the inside and my upbringing that says as a guest you can NEVER be fussy.
I felt awkward.
I was meeting everyone for the first time.
What did I want to do?
What did I have to do.
Homework – that’s all.
But that wasn’t the reason I was there, and somehow I was suffering the overnight hangover for days to come.

A Dr Seuss book I read “oh the places you’ll go” encaptured how I was the feel quite well -visiting waiting places.
As a tourist, I ticked many boxes, ate very well to as to keep my furtive eyes from popping. I was a cow, in a line for much of my time in NewYork city.
But my doe eyes were gleaming, with the abstracted, surreal, pointed visions that manifested themselves before my eyes.
Liberty! Chicago (the show), Empire State, bustle, umbrellas, snacks, sex museums, accents, diners, performers, husslers, the lot.

I found 15 dollars and walked along the brookly bridge and didn’t need to raise my voice in anger at anyone. I was suffering a slight paralysis from venturing so far without the correct recovery, but what can you do- can’t be helped.

I’ve listened to the same song twice now, but its good stuff.
“black, noir, schwartz”.
I’ve also tuned into some random dating website that is the busses internet provider, its friggin strange and works off facebook. So anyone that has travelled like me is here. Gadz man, the internet has memory. lets play “who’s caught a Greyhound”. hhaaha

After NewYork, back to Wethersield.
I ate, chatted, sat quietly and awkwardly slowing and tryingly growing more accustomed to the people in my space as I resided within theirs.
I feel a limited freedom in such situations: imposed by myself, because I’d hate to put anyone out, ask too much, or just come across as too assertive. Here is my stuckness. A disiese of caring and being broken in my considerate nature.

I didn’t know where I stood with Megan and I felt it was hard to care and be cared for by people who I didn’t know. What am I doing here? Should I be here, do these people want me here were roadblocks in my head and dangerous hurdles for the day.

A few quiet relaxing days, homework, planning and sitting were too much for me without the release of exercise. My patience backfired and I ran my mouth which actually proved helpful for getting my feelings understood by myself and my old girlfriend. I made her cry, but only because she didn’t understand me or my concepts fully. Self talk, aggro, anger, sharing-not-bottling. It was hard, and it made me scared and regret sharing. Usually I silently fume and self immolate for the comfort of all others, but not anymore. Talk, even if its nonsense, hurt everyone around you until you are crucified or some kind of reason and sense pours out of your brain that everyone nods to. Like a sponge I rang myself dry.

We picked apples.
Carved pumpkins- tried local delicacies. “S’mores, and Cheezits”.

“let mum know that when I get home that, if you’re up a puzzle, there’s six of you… yeah bye”- the guy in front of me. Someone was in a car crash.
Talking about his other uncle, He died. This guys shares… plain talking, buck toothed. Odd, if you ask me. I should slap him, see what happens. hahah, not really just a thought that I won’t act upon.
Not a want or a need. Just a thought. A nothing.
It only matters if it matters to you.
Does it happen often? Is there an urge? Must you act?
Actions can have huge effects on people. Yes, yes they can

Then we went to Toronto.
We saw a comedy show.
Our host bought the drinks, he had strange eyes.
The house was nice. The next day we went to Niagara falls.
It was beautiful and i’m told its a natural wonder of the world.
Riding a boat near the heavy flow of water was an experience like no other you could achieve without getting fined… Such is the touristy life.
Man overboard, I saw money, but couldn’t get it. As it was over the safety barrier.
I picked yellow flowers and returned home on the bus.

That night I had Pho.
I talked some, with Megan it was nice.
We were tired and wont see eachother for a while, so we walked back and went to bed.

The next day we came home. I will return to Toronto. At the moment, I think I could live there as its a big city with a lot going on.

Now I’m heading home, I will be tactical in the food I eat and try to do a lot of exercise between now and the end of the month.
I’m making plans to visit Juan in Mexico for sunshine and beers like old times.
I’m excited.
I need to do a fair bit of reading and writing this week for university, but all will come in good time.

Champagne and Orange juice is delicious.
Mimosas .

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