It has been

Oh, what it has been.
Quite a good old time of it in comparrison I suppose.
White hot coal, fuels my leg.
Each breat I take is followed by a billow of ash as my thoughts roll. Foaming hatred from the sides of my mouth.
Vile. Rage-filled. People and their actions.
Individuals that are worthless.

I promise not to hang out in groups again.
I pick up on your mood, feelings, your AURA. Ha.
This bullshit takes me.

I feel sorry, sorry for myself. Having not wrote more and sooner. Memory is such a fickle device.
What has happened up until now. What will I prioritise, remember. Will it all stick? Will it all effect me? Am I affected, even now?
Hindsighting perhaps. Waste.

Life is one big tragedy broken up with moments of joyous respite.
The taint and anger of the past has resurfaced amd reminded me of my dubious outlook on life.
Trust nobody, share nothing, put your walls up, everyone wants something from you and they will take what they can. Be selfish.
Be angry.
Deny, lie, kill, steal, cheat.
Its ongoing. Its them. Everyone, cut from the same cloth. A reminder of the horrors people can inflict on one-another.

And it makes me sick. Ill. Depressed and angry.
I had forgotten this feeling.

The lense has been wiped clean.
Steamy breath.
My lips parted below my red visor.
Outwardly disgusted.

The window to life;
Glistening with new perspective.
Fresh, scintillating
Wiped clear.
An icy chill.
Eyes like tomb stones.
To blink is to eat death.
Stones crack.
Fists rattle by my sides.
A ghast, waves and fits riddle across my being.
Fury at a primal level.
Beastly rage.
Aghast. Shaking. Ghostly.
Thoughts of murder.
Gutters or blood.
Weather of hail.
Raining down absolute anguish.


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