Tear

Dread filled. full. full up. costed, taxed. Ill and off.
I hate this. Look away. Mirror not. I cannot. Your beautiful world isn’t mine.
I’ve seen the end. The beginiing. What do you want from me. All you want is want and want and take and grow.
I grow. I follow my chemistry set around. I’ve tried.
I need energy. I’ve read and rested. I have told noone. I feel off.
Off and sick and rotten inside. Terrible, overwhelmed. Whelmed.
Rocking boat. Tragic. Acclaim not, no further.
Be at peace. I wish I could close my eyes.
Ring. Time is up. The bell.
1234. A change. The night time.
The day.
This marks a moment, clock stopping. Not really, truly just glimpse. And note the time, Always then. “my time for change”.

Bed. Lunch. Move, transition.

Time to put on black clothes and a fake face.
“How was Japan?”
Yeah…goood.

Now i’m exhausted. Bent and tired. Warped reality.
Unrealness. I’m trying to get past this feeeeel.
I don’t want to be this person. Seriously.
My eyes are rimmed.
The tears, exhaustion, dehydration.
Brain swell.
take take take. That’s all that’s happened.
I wish to be a cherrub. Back before I was corrupted.
I believe in love I do.
I’m a lover. Fight fight fight die.
Fight how?
My ailed. Sick, worthless corpse. Zombified.
Cactus. Walking, slowly. To nowhere.
24? Are you fucking. FUCKING. SERIOUS?
And what? What to show? A set of skills a group of people.
Hope and dreams?
I WANT.
LESS
OF EVERYTHING.
WANT.
need.
I need less to appreciate more.
Human gushing sickness.
Illness.
Living in the present.
Shaking your limbs.
Standing in groups.
Witness where we have come to.
At present. Now. Here we are, we’re all saying and thinking.
Nothing will ever be quite like this again. But we’re not bouncing off eachother.
Chemistry set.
Our bodies and minds.
Narcotics. Illicits. Drink it away. Drink drink drink.
Wallow and drown. Drink until you cannot swallow.
You bloat, round. You will never explode.
You die. And we hear you moan. Ripping.
I need rest. But not like that.
Thought I feel it.
I feel flat.

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