My lovehandles hurt from walking. Atleast, I hope its from walking so much. Today we (Dad and I) visited many shrines. We walked the Kyoto map. What a glorious thing to do. I’ve felt slightly off since arriving in Japan. I’m not sure what it is. Ajar. The rain started at 1pm. We’d got to the high place in the hills, seen the leaves turn and flutter to the ground, to be trodden into mulch by all the passers by.

Its been a while since I updated this, I hate to thought provoke myself. I dislike forcing thoughts. Maybe this has kust become a place for me to vent safely. Or semi safely.

i read a book on suicide. Academic, scientific. Boring for the most part. Blash! Melbouring afternoon. I got sunburt later that day. If I die of skin cancer later in life does that count? Don’t hold it against me.

i had a dream of Ruth and I. We were grade 10 substitute teachers, we hit it off. We got shouted at for walking into the wrong classroom. I hugged her tightly. I awoke.

today, rain,’shrines, temples, gates, walking, 7/11 sushi a bus trip.

Dinner was curry. It was shit. Chicken and vege. Hard to wreck. I asked dad if he wanted to play a game. He said he didn’t play games. “They make you not present”. He would go on to say many contradictory things. Some interesting some waffle,i will try to elaborate.

life isn’t a game. Real reality. What motivates you. What do you enjoy. There are people that create and people that consume. Classic dicotomy. “There are extroverts and introverts” – life isn’t that simple, people aren’t that simple(he said). Hypocricy was rife! Alas, a shame for me.

You aren’t cool lest we talk about what other people say on facebook. “What matters” does leaving your mark matter? Is that ego? “There’s money in academia” “seperated, levels,HIERACY of people’s persuits”. Like people that watch television, eat crap food and drink goon all day. {textbook stab at mum}. -blank stare.

people. Academy. Polytechnic. Simple. We can’t not. Its the human mind, we revel in its basic organisation.

“You usually have three options”- tell her and ask forgiveness, End it, do nothing.

Say nothing, do nothing.Or are two of those far too similar. Lie and wait. Someone will correct me.

dinner was late. I just wanted to share something. Make dad see what I found interesting. Games facilitate conversation I said. Its a healthy platforms, comfortable simple actions. HOW COULD ANYONE DISAGREE. Competitive nature, ruins that element. The background hum, healthy hubub, mindless actions, the pitter patter of semi random actions on a level playing field. Once the outcomes and play style are worked out, other things may occur. Like a new day job. Your minds focus is on the game. But routine eventuates. Comfort, procedure, calm. Grow your mind, accept, and do different things. Challenge and breakaway from traditions if you can. If someone asks (alas i mustn’t have been convincing).

what shirts are they wearing? Blue

what else do they sell? Salad

their hats? Black caps.

life, lists. Present.

If we both knew how to play the game well, we could have done both.

100% human

100%energy.

raise the bar, running on a treadmill reading a book.